datingBy Jonathon Aslay

Here’s a letter from Alexis, who’s struggling with her boyfriend:

” Dear Jonathon, Well first of all –  I’ve been in some weird relationships.

The recent one lasted for 2 years. Yes I know that’s not a long time but this was the longest one I’ve had since my first relationship which was almost 4 years – and I’m young (still in college).

We really hit it off from the start and we waited to even have sexual times together. we waited till our 1 year anniversary. When we are together we barely talk and then when we are apart ( he lives in Baltimore and I live in California).

Then recently he broke up with me this past holiday because we were fighting a lot and we never talked because we were both busy with school work. But we would talk a lot when we had school breaks. And when I always got back he would invite me to his room and watch movies, play board or video games or just to talk to each other.

We were still great friends. But this past summer he barely talks to me now.

Every time we talk I feel he doesn’t want to talk to me so I don’t.

Then recently I moved back to SF for the school year and he slept over since I was alone and my room mate wasn’t here yet and he told me that he missed me and we slept together and everything was great.

Then when my room mate moved in he doesn’t call for me to come over for movies or any of the old things. So not sure if that was a one time deal and such but he will come over and we would play fight and he would mess with my hair or my stuff and laugh.

But its only when people are present but if we are alone its like He shouldn’t be here or something or he doesn’t want to be alone with me…Did I do something wrong? I’m very confused…

Help me? Alexis

My Answer:

Dear Alexis,

Your heart is open and be proud of your efforts.

Love can be very confusing. Men do not truly come into their own until they have been an adult for about 10-15 years (so around 28-33).

Men need to experience life out on their own, sow their oats, follow their professional passion before they are truly ready for a serious committed relationship.

You are in love with a mere child.

Women are far ahead of men at this age and most men have difficulty expressing their emotions (for as young boys we are taught to hold them in). He obviously cares about you, but he is too young to know what to do.

You have done nothing wrong, let me repeat, you have done NOTHING wrong.

My friend Rori Raye gives great advice about circular dating and I would learn more about that approach and not to put your eggs in one basket.

Live a little and experience life (for he is a child and he is not ready).

Date men who want to court you and have a vision of what they want and where they are going in life.

Be well

Jonathon Aslay

From The Editors: Jonathon KNOWS the male brain. He coaches women on how to “choose better” when it comes to men, and he has a huge following. We just LOVE him and know you’ll love his free tips, too – so go here to find out how you can succeed at dating->

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