Everything was going so well. The two of you were getting along, or at least you thought you were. Then, suddenly, he says he needs to talk to you.
When you look back on this, you realize that you were so clueless that you never even felt that little flutter of fear.
We know the phrase, “We need to talk” is NEVER a good one. If he’s packed and left, you might have time on your hands to consider some of the classic reasons that men drop women and see if any of them were going on in your relationship.
Behaviors That Put Distance Between You And Your Guy:
Too clingy: Men hate it when women cling to them and make them feel smothered. And to be honest, most women don’t like clingy men either.
A man isn’t responsible for your happiness nor are you responsible for his, and you need to understand that from the beginning.
Too independent: So, yes, men don’t like women who are too independent any more than they like the clingy ones. You must find the balance for it all to work out.
Men like to feel needed and they love it when you need them to open jars for you, or fix a leaky pipe. But don’t tell him that he can’t go out with friends because you’ll be lonely without him.
Bad At Listening: There is a classic stereotype of men as bad listeners. But there are plenty of women who have a hard time with this skill as well.
If you’ve started a conversation with him, you must let him participate. Let him answer or comment on the subject at hand, and for goodness sakes, stop interrupting him! If you keep on doing that, he’ll stop talking to you altogether and find someone ELSE that’s interested in listening to what he has to say.
You never have any positive to say: Of course, it’s fine to share some disappointments and problems you may have in your life from time to time, but you shouldn’t look on your guy as a sounding board for all complaints.
Like most of us, he also doesn’t love to hear a lot complaints about himself personally. If you find yourself constantly wanting to reshape what he does or says, you may reconsider your overall compatibility.
You never let the past go: Yes, guys mess up. In fact, they’re known for it. But if you’ve decided to forgive a particular transgression on his part, let it go. Don’t keep bringing it up every time you have an argument.
Try to live in the present with him. It will be more satisfying for both of you.
You’re like a prison warden: A relationship should never be like a prison. He doesn’t have to account to you for his whereabouts 24/7.
Do you seriously want to know about every time he visited the little boys’ room and what he did in there in detail? If he can’t have a life of his own with you, he’ll be finding it with someone that doesn’t stand at the door with a stop watch every time you come and go.
Stop bringing up past relationships: Do you keep worrying about how you shape up against previous girlfriends? Do you try to use examples from your previous relationships to demonstrate things that did or didn’t work?
If you want to make the relationship in front of you here and now work, you have to put your focus there. You’ve both chosen each other right now. Enjoy it.
If you find that you fit into any or all of the things on this list, you’ll probably understand why he left. However, I encourage you not to stress yourself out about it right now – and don’t go chasing after him trying to prove that you’ve changed.
Someone new will come along. Check in with yourself during a new relationship and prove to yourself that you’ve changed.
So what if you feel you’re doing some of these things in a relationship that hasn’t ended yet? How do you set things right? I encourage you to watch This Video.