by Allana Pratt
“Intimacy. Presence. A man who’s present. Impeccably.” What does that really mean? What the hell do I mean by “Intimacy. Presence. A man who’s present. Impeccably. Does it get any better?”
You know when you’re talking with a guy and he’s not listening… it makes you talk more, maybe louder, maybe makes you feel insecure, unsafe or unheard so you give away your power, flirt too much, have sex too early, say yes when you mean no, ANYTHING to get him to pay attention… you ACHE for him to really pay attention.
Well a man who pays attention is present. He isn’t thinking about anything else. You’re the only thing in the world that exists. He’s the banks of the river and you feel yourself open, soften, get juicy, your heart opens, your cells smile.
You see the mechanics behind this is as follows:
Intimacy And Communication Is A Two Way Cycle.
First, yes there is the inspiration, the thought that is communicated.
Second is the other getting you, hearing you, understanding you.
It’s not required the other agrees with you, yet if someone cuts you off, argues, doesn’t listen or if you just have the thought and it spins in your head.
You get JAMMED up in your head and no NEW thoughts, NEW inspirations, NEW clarity can emerge.
And all that’s possible is feeling insecure, scared, spinning and crazy.
So HOW do we get a man to be present with us?
Strap him down, duct tape his mouth, put blinders on him and take off our shirt.
Or Become An Invitation To Intimacy.
When we spin, he can’t get on our merry go round. Intimacy is hard to get to.
When WE’RE present, in our body, at peace in our skin, feeling in love with ourselves, have taken time for a dance, a bath, a walk in the woods or simply singing in the car… we feel full… we’re not needy, we don’t NEED him to listen… we are open to sharing our juiciness with him.. and he FEELS it.
Then say less words than more. Set him up to win by not talking to him when he’s watching football.
When he’s free say it would make you super happy if you could share something yummy with him.
Then share what you feel, what you need, and what would make you happy/your request.
Show him with your hips, your shoulders, your eyes that “It would make me super happy if you would be my hero and use those gorgeous strong arms of your to take out the garbage.
AND BE SURE TO PRAISE HIM WHEN HE DOES IT!
Let me know the difference he makes in your life!
Soon he’ll get that it’s safe to listen to you, he’ll look forward to listening to you and you’ll be the juiciest happiest lady on the block.
Deliciously yours, Allana
Allana Pratt is the Author of How To Be And Stay Sexy, The Missing Handbook to Motherhood and for men, Get Her To Say Yes. An Intimacy Expert on CBS, TLC & FOX, she’s a columnist for eHarmony and People Magazine reported Allana was the first person Leeza Gibbons called for coaching when she signed on with Dancing with the Stars. Allana helps relationships thrive and families flourish through healthy fulfilling Intimate Relationships with Self, Source and Beloved.
From Sarah: Allana is amazing. she’s the only single mom, dating, motherhood and love coach we know who actually shares her own life with you and teaches you how to get the life and love you want. The program she created for us – “Single Mom Manifesto” is filled with practical, spiritual, emotional – and did I say practical? ways to date men in the most effective way and to get and keep the lifelong love you want (or even the “for now” love you want). Go here to check out Single Mom Manifesto, watch Allana’s video, and see how she can help you go from the single women “label” to real, lifelong love and intimacy –>>