by The Editors
It’s hard to be open with others, even the ones you love.
You never know what will come from your vulnerability. You may find that you would like to be open to your inner feelings, but you are afraid of how others will perceive you.
If you really would like to open your inner feelings up to yourself and to others, you need to let go of all your perceived notions.
You have to allow yourself to be who you are by not allowing others to hurt you.
You may tell yourself that you want to go for something and you don’t care what the other one thinks, but if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t have to give yourself a pep talk.
Allowing Vulnerability Is Part of Love
It’s hard to open your inner feelings up to others, but how can you overcome all your troubles?
Well if you really want to open your inner feelings up to another, you must care for this person greatly.
They must also care about you a great deal. If you find it hard to let your feelings out in the open, then you may want to ease into the situation.
You don’t want to tell someone you love them without going out with them.
You need to think small and work your way up.
When you take the time to express yourself, you will find that when the time comes to open up, you feel more comfortable in doing so.
You should know that you are going to sometimes want to spill more than needed, but be patient and allow the moments come to you.
Mystery Is One Aspect Of Love.
You must always have the mystery.
Keep a man on the edge of his seat!
The idea is to spill your feelings, open up your heart, and let yourself be seen.
And you can do that anyway you like!
One great way to spill your emotions is to first spill to your man how you feel about talking to him about the serious feelings that you have.
This way you can get him to understand that this is a very difficult process for you.And, believe it or not, that ADDS to the mystery.
Another thing – be honest.
Love Requires Honesty
Be honest to him and to yourself.
Make sure that you aren’t trying to talk yourself out of yet another feeling just because it is looked down upon by society.
You are how you are and who you are – and that person you are is the woman he WANTS. The woman he wants to KNOW.
What gets changed as you work to change the things that are getting in the way of love is changing the things that are NOT true to yourself.
Things that are blocking the true YOU.
I know it’s hard to even think about how you can expose, with full vulnerability, all that you are – even and especially the parts you don’t think he’ll like.
And yet – that’s what he WANTS. He wants to see you down to the bottom, so that HE can feel safe and loved down to HIS bottom.
The mystery is that you really are bottomless!
The mystery is that there’s always more of you to expose, and always more of you to love – and that’s how the mystery gets kept alive – it’s like an “unfolding” of you…and he gets more and more excited about what’s going to come next!
As you are more and more honest, and expose more and more of your vulnerability, what he “gets” is the full “depth” of you.
And so your relationship becomes deeper.
The deeper you can go – the deeper HE can go!
Make Sure to Love Yourself
If you want to open up to yourself, you may want to start things off by setting your priorities.
You need to list what you really care about and what you don’t.
If you find that you feel one way about things but do or say different things – then you aren’t being honest with yourself or him.
You just have to put your bravery badge on and start speaking your truth in bits and pieces until you get comfortable with it.
You can’t be mysterious if a man perceives you as “dishonest.”
If you’re smiling when you really feel angry – he’ll know it.
He’ll feel like he can never trust you to show him who you really are – and so HE’LL never feel trusting enough to show YOU who HE is!
And that part of him that he holds back is the part of him that loves you and wants to show you love.
The Moment For Love To Show Up
If you need to learn how to open up to a man – you may want to think about waiting for the moment of bravery to strike.
AND – you may want to prepare yourself by practicing with people you don’t feel so emotionally invested with.
Write down your thoughts and feelings so you get to know yourself better.
Then – when you want to tell the truth about what you’re feeling – it’ll be easier for you to even FIND those feelings – and you’ll have some experience speaking them to others (girlfriends are great for this, and casual encounters with strangers and waiters and your hairdresser).
You will know when that moment is deep in your heart.
Just listen to your instincts and follow through with all the plans, emotions, and ideas so that you can act on your instincts.
You may also want to get yourself a buddy system for support.
The buddy system is when you lean on some one for moral support and they try to encourage you to reach for your goals – and you do the same for them.
Your best friends can be great supporters – and so can strangers in meetup groups.
Just find the places and moments where you can feel comfortable enough to practice these tips of honesty and opening your feelings – and the next time the opportunity for more love shows up (with a new man or the man you have now) – you’ll be able to bring it close to you!
From The Editors: We love this topic of opening your heart – and think Dominique and her great book “Sex and Heart” is the best person to help you with it – she’s also one of the best coaches around. She’s the ONLY coach we recommend to women who want to open their hearts and find their true selves in a deep emotional, physical, spiritual, sensual and sexual way. Start with her ebook “Sex and Heart” – and finally get the love, affection and great sex you want and deserve–>>