by Kara Oh

Let’s talk today about open marriages.

I have strong opinions about this because this is the idea that began the breakup of my 29-year marriage so I’ll try to stay objective. Intellectually, how could we want to deny our partner any source of happiness? That was my struggle. But my heart and my gut said no $#%@ way.

It seems the only reason two people would want to join as an exclusive couple, other than to create a family for child raising, would be to experience the deepest love possible. Only time and a true knowing can allow that depth to occur.

I’ve talked with several couples who tried open marriages and they all said it didn’t work.

They said either the love withered or jealousies and insecurities made it intolerable.

They said the outside sex took their energy, interest, and focus.

They were not emotionally available to deepen the love with their primary partner.

If we can’t stay open to our partner, if we begin to shut down, we’re defeating the whole purpose of being in a loving relationship. One of the main ways we build that deep love is being open, trusting, and sharing who we really are. What are your thoughts on this topic?

From Sarah: Kara Oh is the FIRST Relationship Guru! I know that because I bought her book “Men Made Easy” long ago – and it changed my life. I had the honor of meeting her personally a few months ago – and she TOTALLY walks her talk. You’ll LOVE Men Made Easy, and you’ll love Kara’s free videos and articles. Just go here to discover her for yourself and make SURE a man gets really into you while you’re dating->


  1. K34 on September 6, 2012 at 9:07 am

    In my opinion, having a non-monogamous relationship is not really a relationship at all. It’s like having a roommate that you can fool around with while you go off and have one nighters. That doesn’t scream close, meaningful relationship to me. If that’s what I want I will just pick up some guys for a night of fun, date etc. But, if I want a relationship, i’m looking for something a bit more secure and truly lovingly intimate. Someone that I would shares things with that I wouldn’t even tell my best gal pal. This is just my view though. <3

  2. Chanel on September 6, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I’m so glad you published this ‘ taboo’ type of topic. I agree, though, that in a relationship it must want to create something. You cannot create and grow into ‘something’, furthering or deepening the relationship if there is a lack of trust, sharing, intimacy, amongst the partners. If the partner is seeking outside interests, then they are not available emotionally to go deeper into an intimate relationship. The ego has gotten in the way. When we look at spiritual relationships – those kind that hold love, trust, and intimacy at its core – then you are taking sexual relations out of ego, and into a place of deep trust that allows your soul to be opened and explored. This doesn’t happen in any sexual relationship that is simply satisfying the ego. The ego doesn’t go deep.. it only wants to be pacified. Anyone looking for relationships outside of a marriage to ‘share the love’ is actually pacifying the ego.. as love develops from the heart, it is not born out of sexual relations.

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