No, You Don’t Have To Love Yourself Before Someone Will Love You

Why is no one talking about this?

by Jeffrey Levine

Probably because it might be controversial –
There’s a message going around from some relationship coaches, that you have to love yourself before someone else will.

I simply don’t believe that’s true.

To me, it sounds like victim blaming – essentially saying that if you don’t have someone in your life that loves you, it’s because you don’t love yourself… it’s your fault.

I don’t think that’s a healthy or accurate message to send.

We are all human. We have our ups and downs and sometimes we love ourselves and sometimes we don’t.

What’s important is to continue to do the inner work – understand what makes you tick, learn about your triggers and how to handle them in a conscious way, explore your dark or shadow side, take time to learn the skills to navigate tough conversations and difficult people.

Be open to connection, when it happens.
And love yourself when you can.

Jeffrey Levine is a corporate coach and trained mediator (and Rori Raye’s husband) who works with both men and women to improve their communication, deepen their connection and remove the blocks that keep them from feeling and expressing love. He is the author of “How To Talk To A Man”, which contains invaluable advice, tools and solutions to help you avoid common relationship pitfalls, and clean things up when they go south. “Every moment presents a new choice for you: a decision about what you want – and what you believe you deserve.”

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