The first one did not go so well and even though you were married for years you were just never that happy.
Was it you? Was it him?
Who really can answer that question? Hopefully the lawyers chimed in on this one.
Our suggestion would be to talk out your insecurities with a professional before entering into another long term relationship.
You’re scared – and you have every right to be!
Have faith though – you can have the relationship you want and be happy for the rest of your life if you’re ready to – yes – put in the work.
And what exactly IS this work?
Learning new skills you didn’t have in the marriage that went downhill.
Skills like good, honest, real, non-blaming ways of dealing with conflict. An ability to have fun and relax with each other.
Everything that happened to you and with you and around you in that marriage that went sour and ended in divorce can TEACH you what you need to learn to make your new marriage WORK. It can help you discover, really see, and “work” to dissolve the “baggage” that haunted you in that first marriage.
New marriage after divorce can be an exciting time for both of you. New love is always exciting. It makes you see the world in a whole new light.
If you worked out your baggage well before this new relationship happened then you’re one step ahead of the game and this relationship will be smooth sailing from the start.
Your New Approach to Your New Marriage
It’s ok to be scared, who wouldn’t be?
Just let the scared urge you to keep on top of the communication that is needed in any relationship and to deal with the problems as they arise. More than likely, that’s what happened in the first relationship that ended so badly.
Communication broke down and things didn’t get dealt with. They were just left to fester and then they got so big they were unmanageable when they came to a head.
You’re clearly a little wiser, now. Don’t just automatically revert back to the old you.
If this new man in your life really does love you, he’ll also respect you more if you have the courage to stand up for yourself and what you believe in rather than just lay down and let him walk all over you.
You deserve better than that – especially from yourself.
If you’ve done the work, then you should have no trouble being able to talk to your new love about anything. The more the communication lines stay open, the less misunderstanding there will be and the two of you will probably rarely, if ever, have a fight. It really is all about the communication.
Love Does Not Equal a Good Marriage
You would not even be considering this new marriage if there was no love there. But you probably loved your ex at some point, right? So, love does not a good marriage make. You have got to have respect and the ability to communicate what you are thinking and feeling. Someday, if you do this well in the beginning, you will both be able to tell what the other thinks and feels with out even asking. New marriage after divorce takes some work up front then you will be able to enjoy the fruits of your labors for years to come.
To help you with everything around communication – you’ll want to check out Jeffrey Mark Levine’s “Good Husband Guide” and get his free newsletters. His Tools – like “The Umbrella Of Safety” – are just fantastically helpful. Just go here to help yourself and your new marriage->