by Kathryn Weber
Have you ever felt like the more you tried to accomplish something, the more elusive it becomes? That’s the subject of today’s Feature Article in this month of clutter and letting go. One of Buddhism’s central tenets is that pain comes with attachment. We are pained to let something go because we are attached to an idea, thought, or feeling.
And, it might surprise you to learn that sometimes our attachments are negative ones. In fact, it’s those negative attachments that often become the most rooted and difficult to let go of. I’ve given you two of my own personal examples in today’s Feature Article.
Another good example of limiting beliefs is from the movie Pretty Woman when Richard Gere’s character tells Vivian (Julia Roberts) how pretty and smart she is and she doesn’t acknowledge his kind statements. When he asks why, she tells him “The bad stuff is so much easier to believe.”
Feng shui is about movement.
The principles of feng shui are there to help us. They remind us of the importance of flow and movement in everything — including our lives and even our thoughts. When we cling to outdated things and beliefs or hurtful circumstances or people, we stay stuck and unable to grow.
On recent plane rides, I read two separate articles about getting what you want and how to do it. The first was in O Magazine by O columnist Martha Beck. She says that “The embrace of loss is what paradoxically seems to attract gain.” Another article by a now-famous singer quoted him saying that he had a hit once he gave up on being a successful singer.
It’s my goal to help you create abundance and prosperity in all areas of your life and to help you create movement where stagnation once resided. Sometimes that requires you to let go. Incidentally, the story I recount about my husband’s sciatic nerve problem in his hip has an interesting financial twist that might surprise you!
So…What are you ready to move on from? The fall is a wonderful time to take stock of the year and reassess what you ve accomplished and what you want to shed in your life.
Psychologists often say that we often won t let go of a negative situation because we ve either not experienced enough pain with the situation or what we think of as pain is actually something we enjoy. In other words, there s something that we are getting out of our so-called negative situation.
In letting go of what you don t want, try assessing the following:
Am I really, truly ready to move on from ?
And if so, what is stopping me?
Or, am I really getting something out this negative situation?
You may find that even in a bad situation, you want to hang on to it because it validates your negative thoughts or opinions that you might have of yourself. My husband had a sciatic nerve problem in his right hip. He s had it since I ve known him which is over twenty years. Every single night before bed, he d complain about that hip and would pound away at it. All my massage of Tim’s hip was in vain, too, as his hip would seemingly freeze solid.
But, this summer, we went to an amazing massage therapist in Taos, New Mexico. After my husband s massage, I asked the therapist how it went and he told me he fixed my husband s sciatic nerve problem. I told him that I was glad that tonight his hip wouldn t bother him. He then looked straight at me and said matter of factly that Tim s hip would never bother him again. I was astonished.
Tim came out looking like a new man and on the way home we discussed if he was really ready to let go of his nightly companion of pain. He said he was and I had to consider it and came to the conclusion that I, too, was ready for his hip pain to go.
You see, we get used to pain.
We become accustomed to things being bad that it becomes the way things are for us. Over a year ago, on my way to a size 14, I told myself that I was no longer going to criticize myself and the way I looked.
I stopped all negative self-talk. I truly count this as the source of my undoing when I would try to make changes before. To date, I held on to more than 15 pounds of negative self-talk and almost three dress sizes of self-critical comments. I ve gone from XL tops to Medium, from size 12-14 to 10 s and on my way to size 8.
Letting go is sometimes the best way to find ourselves.
To lose weight, I had to stop criticizing myself, but I also made different choices. The choices I made were sustaining ones ones that now are my life. I didn t go on a diet, I changed my lifestyle because it was my eating lifestyle that was getting me into trouble.
One cautionary note is that you have to be completely honest with yourself. Do you enjoy your pain is it a crutch, something to hold on to and blame for everything else in your life that makes you unhappy or goes wrong?
Most of us at any single time have a solitary thing that makes us the most unhappy. I know someone who has serious neck problems but is scared to death of having spinal surgery that would make him pain-free. This person would rather have the pain and keep it, like an old friend, than be free and unrestricted from it.
Ask yourself what you re holding on to and consider what you want to let go of. That could include any of the following:
People who hurt you
Objects that you dislike or make you unhappy
Ideas or concepts about yourself that are harmful or no longer useful
Situations, like jobs or relationships that are making you unhappy
Clutter, paper, clothes, objects, furniture
A mole, a wart, a physical aspect about yourself that you dislike
Inconveniences or burdens on your time and energy
Other people s problems that are given to you
Something that s eluded you, like success, money, love, a certain clothing size
These are just a few of the common things that you might want to move on from. If so, this is the time to do it. The fall is a time of letting go and then starting over. Give serious thought to making the one change that could make the biggest difference in your life.
What did Tim’s hip therapy enable him to do? In feng shui, the hip is associated with the southeast sector and wealth (and the creation chakra). After his treatment in Taos, he earned one of his largest commission checks and the checks have been flowing ever since. In my year of losing weight (mostly on my hips!), I’ve also increased my income. In fact, this year, we are both on track to double our income. Letting go has been very profitable.
Letting go of the pain and frustration in your life unblocks your life so you can receive what you want and that even includes ideas. And if you re frustrated by an idea, such as lack of success, then give it up. Let go of your attachment. You might find your biggest gains come from letting go.
An open palm holds more water than a fist.
From the Editors: Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Feng Shui E-zine – and it’s just got GREAT, FREE information and advice – her site has more articles, too, and a totally Free E-book “Easy Money – 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui.” Just click here to visit Kathryn at: the websiteand get your free book and E-zine – we’ve used her stuff at our homes, and it’s really interesting and easy to learn and do – it’s a fast and fun way to use feng shui to make your life more prosperous and abundant.