It would be nice if every relationship progressed in a straight line from “Love at first site” through to “Happily ever after”, but real life doesn’t tend to go that way.

Relationships break up for a number of reasons, some that we can directly manipulate, and some that are completely beyond our control.

Regardless of the cause of a breakup, we often look back on the relationship itself as a joyful time and forget about the reasons leading to it’s ending. In some cases this extends to wanting to get your ex back again.

Do You Want Your Relationship Back?

Getting your ex back is a common objective, and I want to challenge you to do two things.

First, decide whether you really want your ex back or not. And second, make an effort to do it. I can’t tell you how many people I see that could reunite with their ex, but they cannot commit to it. Make the commitment. Then do it.

Deciding If You Really Want Your Ex Back

Stop here for a second and take a step back. You have tried it with this person before. It didn’t work out. What has changed?

Someone once defined insanity as doing the same thing the same way over and over and expecting different results.

So, the first question to ask yourself when deciding if you want you ex back again is – are you insane?

Are you expecting to do the same things that you did last time and just have the relationship work this time, or is there something different?

Perhaps you have grown and matured – perhaps they have. Perhaps a point of conflict such as a friend or job has been removed.

But if nothing has changed, and you are expecting the relationship to work differently, then you are probably just kidding yourself.

Make a decision to correct past mistakes and not let these mistakes inflict further damage to your relationship. If your ex makes the same commitment, you’re home free.

Getting Your Ex Back for a New Relationship

Assuming you have given it the proper thought and you definitely decide that you do want your ex back, then you need to set about doing it.

The first step is opening the lines of communication with them. This is usually easiest to do if you have mutual friends and can go to a few fun events in a group. You need to get comfortable in each others presence again. Just be aware not to leave this going on for two long, and to respect the history between you.

Once the lines of communication are open again you need to look for a time you can get them alone and gently broach the subject of getting back together.

This is scary.

So much so that most people never get around to doing it.

But it is essential.

You could be chasing your ex around with puppy dog eyes for the next 5 years of your life and he or she could be completely uninterested.

But let’s be optimistic and say you are not given a negative responsive.

Most likely you will get a reserved response at best, but you can always hope they just break down and confess they have wanted you back since the day you left.

If you are given any sort of an opening then you need to demonstrate how things will be different, and how whatever was the issue last time is no longer going to be a problem.

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