Anger in relationship is the natural reaction of helplessness and frustration. When we feel that we’re being forced to suffer, we get either angry or feel very helpless. When we feel victimized, we get angry with our “abuser.”
What about your relationship? Are you getting angry with your man for any reason?
Anger with your man can be for various reasons. He’s overspent and it’s turned your budget haywire. You now feel helpless about how to manage the finances. Your natural reaction is anger at him. Why did he do this?
Or – both of you have decided to keep something private and not tell anyone. Then you find out that your man has spoken about that with his friend. You get angry.
This way we keep getting angry with our partner and our partner gets angry at us at different intervals.
The Danger To Your Relationship Is Not In The Anger
The danger is that when the anger becomes a permanent feature of relationship, it eats away the love. The focus turns from sharing love to anger.
You will begin looking at your partner as someone who’s always troubling you for some or other reason.
Everyday you’ll wait for something new to happen and feel quite helpless, because despite all your anger he isn’t changing.
Then it moves to complaining, then to accusing him of hurting you on purpose – and then he starts to feel so “wrong” that he can’t do anything right around you.
When a man starts to feel that way…he’ll just behave even MORE badly!
The cure isn’t to HIDE your feelings of anger – but to express them to your man in a different way.
In Fact – The “Juice” Of Anger Can Light Up A Romantic Relationship!
Anger is totally unavoidable! There’s just no way we’re not going to feel anger at someone we know well who’s around us all the time, and who we have an emotional bond with.
If you don’t learn how to express the anger instead of either bottling it up or letting it out in an ‘attack” on him – the relationship can’t last.
This becomes a game – “I make mistake and you feel angry. ”
Such games are very corrosive for the health of the relationship.
Learning to simply say “I feel angry” to your man when you’re feeling angry is a healing, bonding thing to do. You don’t have to sit down seriously with him and have a “talk” – all you have to do is share your ‘feeling state” as soon as you know what it is you’re feeling – AND…
…you have to make sure you express and share those feelings with your man in a way that doesn’t BLAME HIM for those feelings!
If you keep it simple and straightforward – with at most a “When that happened…I felt…,” he won’t get defensive and shut down. He’ll be able to hear your words and care about your feelings…he may even try to solve the problem, which would be great!
Don’t ask him for explanations, or make him feel like he needs to explain himself.
Instead of trying to hide your disappointment and frustrations – try this technique of letting him know what you’re feeling…your relationship will almost instantly go deeper, become stronger and…more romantic!
From the editors: To learn more about how to share your feelings with your man, try out Rori Raye’s free newsletters and free Heart Connection tools – go here to learn how to Have The Relationship You Want.