by Carol Allen
If you ever feel hopeless in a relationship because of a man’s bad behavior towards you, like his yelling, arguing, or pulling away, you’re not alone…
If you or someone you know is struggling in a relationship with a man that everyone is tempted to call a “jerk,” then don’t despair – help is here!
One of the love problems I’ve had the most success and personal fulfillment with in my years of coaching women in their relationships, has been helping them get along with “afflicted” or “star- crossed” men.
These are men who behave badly – they’re insecure, weak, selfish, angry, moody, irritable, or prone to long-term pouting… fun, fun!
And…these “afflictions” can be seen astrologically.
That’s right – you can tell by reading a man’s astrological chart if he’ll be able to be a good partner for a relationship with you or not.
No kidding, you can see all the lovely challenges I just mentioned – like whether or not he’ll be impatient, rude, cruel, hostile, or just a big downer…
Many women, not knowing how complicated astrology is, will wrongly want to blame these behaviors on a man’s Sun sign.
They’ll call me up and say things like, “That’s it! I’m never dating another Scorpio again – they’re such jerks!”
But the truth is, there are good and not-so- good men (and women!) of every sign. If it were as easy as simply avoiding certain signs, then we’d have all figured that out ages ago.
In fact, pregnant women the world over would purposely schedule c-sections just to avoid giving birth to such miserable people…
Whenever I see a woman that frustrated with a man, I can tell right away that his stars are “afflicted.”
And it would seem that it’s best to avoid or get rid of these men… If a man is so cursed, then why even bother being with him at all, right?
Well, the deal with “affliction” is that there’s a spectrum that goes from one end at “slightly annoying,” swinging all the way to the other end at “completely impossible to deal with”…
If you’re in love with a man who has a well- developed “jerk” side, perhaps it’s workable.
In my experience, many afflicted men also have absolutely lovely qualities which is how they attract – and constantly confuse – the nice women who love them.
It’s just that when they’re feeling threatened or like life isn’t going their way, their less lovely qualities come forward.
The old “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” syndrome…
A difficult man’s fantastic qualities make it all the more devastating when the less-than-great parts of him are taking over and ruining the party.
If you’ve ever loved a man like this – moody, grumpy, whiny, defensive, or downright mean… then you know how hard it is to stay with him.
As soon as you start to tell anyone in your life what he’s doing, your friends and loved ones all pretty much say the same thing…
Wake up and smell the coffee and DUMP THE CHUMP!
And maybe you should…
(And please do if his behavior toward you or others is abusive or dangerous! If you suspect it’s that bad – many women who are being abused don’t fully realize they are – please seek professional help IMMEDIATELY!)
But maybe, just maybe, the way you respond to him will either ESCALATE or ELIMINATE his bad behaviors.
How To Live (Happily) With A Relationship “Jerk” If You already Love Him:
Since afflicted men are insecure, he’ll be more sensitive to your treatment of him. So if you meet his anger with anger, or roll your eyes at his bad mood, or judge him for whining, then LOOK OUT!!!
If, however, you can stay strong and not let him get to you (which won’t be easy if YOU’RE afflicted) and hold a higher vision for your relationship by not joining him in his dark, MISERABLE MAN CAVE, he may just snap out of it.
And that’s how you’ll know if you can live with him or not. That’s how to figure out if he’s on the “challenging but lovable” side of the “afflicted” equation, or if your friends are right.
See, YOU have so much more power than you know. I’ve seen it time and again.
I’m not saying his pathetic ways are your fault! Not at all! I’ve just come to believe that you can train (almost) anyone how to treat you and lead the way to love…
How To Spot A Relationship “Jerk” Before It’s Too Late
Once you discover a man’s maturity level, you know EXACTLY what his areas of weakness are that lead to his immature, “little kid” behavior.
This allows you to know how to avoid stepping on the “land mines” in his personality so you can stop having so many “explosions” disrupt your peace of mind and happiness with him.
It starts with CHOOSING to live from your DREAM of how you want the relationship to be, and having that wonderful, loving vision be your guide and determine your behavior.
So all of your reactions come from your highest ideals, and are NOT in response to his lowest, basest fears…
It starts with YOU not FEEDING his fears by giving them your power.
In other words, if he’s reactive and angry, you can’t be reactive or angry back. If he’s moody, you can’t be moody back. If he criticizes you unfairly