by Carol Allen
Attraction is such a pesky, mystifying thing.
Why is it that you can be head over heels for a guy but he won’t feel a thing for you?
Or how the heck do you explain why some of the guys who seem to be ga-ga when you’re around make you feel like gagging?
Sometimes, especially when you’ve been single for a looong time, it feels like the astrological gods are against you and that striking a real connection with someone is just about impossible.
I know, because before I met and married my husband, I spent years lusting after guys who were a terrible match for me – on paper and in the stars – and pushing away all sorts of nice guys I simply couldn’t muster a spark of attraction for.
Then there were those boyfriends whose every movement I had to dissect – with everyone from the postman to distant cousins.
Everything seemed to require so much EFFORT.
I was off balance, afraid, and simply miserable much of the time with these men I supposedly clicked with.
I’m not saying that everything was picture perfect and peachy keen with my hubby, but what we did have was a DEEP, spiritual, solid kind of connection where we both just KNEW.
What’s more, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be and that this man was helping me be my best ME.
I know that can be very frustrating to hear – as it was for me – when you’re out there trying to find love and make love work.
And I know that it’s often really tricky to tell the real deals from the ho-hums.
So I want to save you a whole lot of time and heartache by telling you what I learned through all my ups and downs on the way to real love.
The Laws of Attraction:
I’ve been so fascinated by this, that I’ve spent a lot of time researching the issue of attraction, and what makes the difference between a man thinking you’re HOT, and thinking you’re IT.
There’s a BIG difference… and I’ve come to find that the most important kind of attraction is THAT soulful, deep kind… the kind that goes WAY beyond if you and a man have chemistry or can get along.
When you feel uneasy and unsteady around a man you feel passionate about, it’s almost a sure sign you have a chemical attraction or attachment going on… and not the deeper kind of soul “knowing” that means you were born for each other.
Here’s How to Recognize the Real Thing: SPIRITUAL ATTRACTION
1) It Feels Like You’ve Come Home
When you’re with the right guy, you’ll know it because you feel calm about it. It will feel normal, like “of course this is happening.”
If you’re feeling anxious around him or about him and you feel the need to analyze his every word with everyone you talk to, then you can be pretty sure he’s not your guy.
If you’re thinking “huh” instead of “ahhh” most of the time, something’s wrong.
2) You’re Being Your Best You
When you get that spring in your step, you start getting kudos at work, and you’re inspired to stick to your workout routine, chances are you’ve landed on Mr. Right. If, however, you’re not functioning at your job, you’ve let your good habits slide, and friends are starting to worry about you, then stop over thinking it:
This guy is not The One.
3) You Can Let Things Unfold
Are you doing, doing, doing to make the relationship happen? Do you feel like you have to constantly control things in order to make the relationship move forward?
Then I can tell you that spiritual attraction is not at work here. The guy you were born to be with will be a breath of fresh air to you – you’ll feel like you can let go and let things happen naturally…
Even if you’re a control freak (although you’ll need to work on this if you want a good, lasting relationship and to save your sanity!)
4) You Feel Comfortable Saying “No”
A sure sign you’re with the wrong guy is when you feel you have to go against your truth to be with him. If you’re making what he thinks the most important thing, and you’re doing things to please him you normally wouldn’t do, then this is not a stellar match.
Your true Mr. Right respects who you are and makes you feel comfortable to express what you don’t want.
There’s nothing like the feeling of sharing your life with the guy you have a true spiritual connection with.
And may God and his planets and stars shower you with love – including the spiritual attraction connection you were born to have!
Carol’s articles just shine with the love that she brings to her relationship work. She has so much understanding and on so many levels. Bring her advice into your love life and see what it does for your experience of attraction.