by Allana Pratt
Here’s a question from a single mom that just breaks your heart:
“Allana, You know a lot from what I have read. So I have a problem for you and I would like to know what you think I should do: ready? I’m with this guy names Joe. Joe is a good guy and has a great body.
First let me tell you about me. I’m a young single mom. I have a 3 month old and I’m in college. I know that I want to start a family here soon and get married. Also I’m not sure who my daughters father is I’m getting DNA on the two guys.
Joe has been there for me for the past two months we have been seeing each other. He has gotten me nice gifts and taken me out. He seems to care for myself and my daughter. thing is he’s still in the party stage and I’m not.
He use to text me all the time and call me before he went to be when he lived 4 hrs away and drove up to see me on weekends. Now he lives 30 minutes away we don’t text that much and it gets less and less every week it seems.
Yes he does see me more. At first he wanted to wait for sex and I didn’t but we didn’t always but then the tables turned.. and he seems to see me less and less. that’s only one on the few problems we have. He hasn’t been keeping his word when he says ill call or were hang out at this time it has happened 4 times now and it hurts me a lot cause he use to not be like this.
Now here’s another problem I really like Joe but I have old feelings for this guy named Kyle who could be my daughters father. He wants the same things I want but yet I’m holding back. I don’t know why. And since Joe hasn’t been talking to me I got myself in a big mess and started just talking to this guy named Tony who also wants the same things as me. And we now have feelings for each other. Kyle and Tony both know I’m with Joe and Joe doesn’t know I like them but I’m not cheating on him so please don’t think that.. but WHAT DO I DO???”
Dear Not Sure What To Do,
Stop stop stop.
You don’t know who your child’s father is.
Not self loving for you or your child.
He doesn’t keep his word, sees you less less, and you’re using him because you really like Kyle? And you Tony just for kick?
Stop stop stop.
Stop seeking attention to be enough.
Stop giving away your power.
Stop sleeping around.
Stop using men to get validation.
Stop using sex as a manipulation.
Stop looking to men to save you.
Start looking yourself in the mirror and making friend with the wounded part of you. Do your forgiveness work. Build your self esteem and honor your worth and magnificence.
Start creating healthy boundaries and being interested in your CHILD and being the best Mom you can be.
Start creating an independent successful life, friends that keep their word, clear on the qualities you want in a relationship one day.
Go on a dating diet for at least 9-12 months. Get a vibrator. Make Source your Lover.
Fall in love with yourself.
Fierce Love, Allana Pratt
From Sarah: If you’re single, a mom, and struggling with dating and relationship on top of all you do — Allana’s book, Single Mom Manifesto, is for you. It’s the only relationship advice book we know of that not only gives you the nuts-and-bolts of “dating,” (online dating included), incredible help on how to handle and be with men, how to create and keep romance, how to attract a man in such a powerful, authentic way that you’ll feel loved just being yourself – it’s all geared to your life as a single mom.
It’s about putting your world as a mom together with your world as a woman – so that both your children’s lives and your romantic life enrich each other. If you’re a single mom, take a look at Single Mom Manifesto–>>