by Orna and Matthew Walters
This week’s dating question comes from Sylvia:
“Hello Orna and Matthew ,
I would like to know about a man I’m interested in. I met a man online and we seemed to hit it off. We’ve been chatting online and I finally wrote an email to him but he hasn’t answered me yet. He told me he wanted to meet and then I haven’t heard from him. I really like him and I don’t want to mess this up. What do I do!?!
Our Dating Advice
Thanks for reaching out to us. First off, know that you can’t “mess this up.” What we mean by this is if it works out and he turns out to the kind of man you can create a conscious relationship with, or if it doesn’t work out with him, that you have done nothing wrong. The key is how you approach it from the start.
First off, you must understand that a man who is interested in dating you will pursue, especially if you let him know that you are interested. And it sounds like you’ve made it clear to him. If he is not pursuing you, then there is only one conclusion you can come to: he is not interested.
It is tempting to make things complicated when we are attracted to someone. You might find yourself wondering why he hasn’t reached out to you, or you may begin making excuses for him, justifying his behavior. We suggest you avoid that temptation.
People tell you who they are by their behavior. His behavior is telling you he is not interested enough to pursue you. You could make it easy for him by doing some of the pursuing yourself, but then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Dating: The Energy of the Chase
All relationships have an energetic component to them and the feminine energy is a receptive energy, masculine energy the driving force. When women step into the driving force energy it emasculates the man and gives him no role to play.
Additionally, this is a perfect example of you not truly valuing yourself. When you love and value yourself then you don’t settle for crumbs of affection or attention. Instead you hold out for the real deal. Love is available for you. Good men are easy to find.
Your work is to begin to take care of you and draw a clear boundary. Don’t waste your time with men who aren’t fully into you. Don’t waste your time chasing men. That is their role in the beginning of the relationship. Your role is to send a clear signal that you are interested, be receptive to a man that you find attractive and let him lead.
We hope this helps.
Love and Abundance,
Orna and Matthew
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