If He’s Not Ready To Commit, Here’s What You Need To Know

So you met a great guy, he makes you feel excited about the possibilities, and he pulls away after a couple of dates?

by Christian Carter

Is it possible that you made the one crucial mistake that pushed him away?

Read on, if you want to find out what makes a man want to stay single… and not have a relationship, even when he’s dating an amazing woman!

Here’s the thing you need to know…

Did you know that most men make up their minds about whether they’d “get serious” and try out a relationship within the first few minutes of having met a woman?

It’s true.

If you don’t know what to say or do early on to get a man’s interest for the RIGHT REASONS… then the first “exchanges” between you and a man could keep him from ever wanting to explore a relationship with you.

I see it happen all the time…

A woman meets a fantastic guy and they hit it off.

The chemistry is amazing. They laugh, talk, and have tons of things in common.

It just feels right.

They go out several times and end up getting “physical” early on.

And, since all the basic elements are there to start a great relationship, and this guy seems like he could be “the one”, the women starts to really open up.

But just as she’s becoming more and more EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED, the truth comes out…

The man has ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in having a real relationship.

He says something like:

“It’s not you… it’s me.”


“I’m just not interested in a relationship right now.”


“You’re great, but if we went out, I know we’d get serious really quickly and I’m not ready for all that. I don’t want to hurt you.”

If you’ve experienced this kind of thing before, then you know that men will come up with every excuse in the book to try and avoid a relationship.

Sometimes it seems like men’s minds’ are simply searching for every possible excuse or way out.

That way they don’t have to deal with the fact that there’s an amazing woman right in front of them who could be the love of their lives.

So let me ask you…

Why Is Finding the Right Person for a Relationship Such a Bad Thing to Men?

And, what can YOU do as a woman to avoid all these “traps” that other women constantly walk into and trigger with men that keep them from ever finding and starting the relationship that they really want?

Good questions.

After years and years of thinking about all this, of talking to men and women, and spending years observing and studying what’s really going on at a deeper level… I’ve discovered something that TONS of women are doing when meeting and dating men that INSTANTLY pushes that WITHDRAWAL button where a man will not only not want to get any closer to a woman…

But, he’ll want to get away from her altogether.

Don’t be one of the many women who keep on making this mistake without even knowing it.

It’s one thing when you’re dating a man and he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, and that he isn’t ready.

But, here’s where it gets even more bizarre and predictable when it comes to men and how they think about dating and new relationships…

After a man dates you and says he’s NOT READY for a relationship, unless you’re the unlucky kind of woman who likes to torture herself by trying to CONVINCE a man that he should want a relationship with you… you listen and move on.

You try and respect the fact that, for whatever reason, he’s not in a place where he’s capable of having a real relationship.

But for lots of women, this is when the unthinkable happens…

A few weeks or months later, you can’t believe what you hear-

This same man who was dead-set on staying single and not having a relationship, is suddenly IN LOVE with ANOTHER WOMAN.

And, to add insult to injury… things are getting very “serious” and moving very, very quickly for him with this other woman.


What’s going on here?

For most women, it’s in these moments that a few “truths” become clear to you:

1) Men don’t know what they want…

How many times have you had a man say one thing, or show you that he felt or thought one thing… but then he did something that was completely the opposite?

Why does a man do this?

Is he lying?

Did he mean to deceive you and hurt you?

Or, did he do this for another reason?

What if I told you that when a man likes you and is interested… he’ll often say things about the way he feels about you just to get your interest and attention?

And, what if I told you that these things that he thought and felt could change VERY, VERY QUICKLY as you’re getting to know each other and “dating”?

Would that change the way you think about men and how they don’t know what they want?

It should.

2) You can’t trust what a man tells you…

If you’re a woman who’s been hurt before in a relationship, then odds are you’re finding it hard to believe a man or trust him much further than you could throw him.

It’s understandable.

But, did you know that if you’ve been hurt from a past relationship and you carry some doubt and fear about men in general…

Then, no matter how you try and come across to him… a man will sense this inside you when you go out with him – even if you don’t say anything about it or mention it.

Your inability to trust a man won’t allow you to “connect” with him on a deeper level.

And, without that connection where a man feels like you really “get” him… he’ll never get past that superficial level of conversation and start becoming emotionally involved and drawn to you.

In other words… the fear that you have that he’ll turn out like other men that you’ve known will “leak” out in subtle ways. And it will not only keep you both from growing closer… but it will give him the intuitive feeling that something is off, and he’ll leave.

If you’re talking to a new man in your life or dating and you have the bad experiences of the past in your mind… you’re practically guaranteeing failure for yourself and for the relationship you’re trying to get started.

Men don’t like women and don’t feel comfortable or ATTRACTED, when a woman is full of doubt and fear from her past relationships.

It’s a HUGE turn off.

3) Men don’t make any sense to you…

There’s something that keeps coming up over and over in my life that’s I find absolutely fascinating…

It’s that everywhere I go I meet smart women who are what a friend of mine calls “Man Stupid”.

Raise your hand if you’re guilty of this yourself.

It’s amazing to me how many brilliant, smart, sweet, caring, wise and loving women I’ve met, who have failure after failure when it comes to men, dating, and relationships.

And for these smart women, since they’re so capable and successful in every other area of their life… they can’t believe that they wouldn’t be able to make things work with a man in a relationship.

But, here’s the fatal mistake they make…

They think that the fact that they are smart, educated, capable, successful, etc. in other areas of life should somehow “translate” into knowing what to do when it comes to men and their love life.

But nothing could be farther from the truth.

In fact, the belief that you know how things work with men and dating just because you’re a woman and you think about these things all the time and you really want love to work out in your life, actually works against you.

Why does this work against you?

Simply put – because it keeps you from ever accepting the fact that you don’t know what you need to know about how men think, and how things work when it comes to a real and lasting relationship with a man.

There’s a kind of subtle shame that I’ve learned some women carry because they think that they were born not knowing something that every other woman was born knowing.


Not knowing how men think, and how men really are different when it comes to dating and what catches a his attention and interest isn’t a sign of a “dumb” or incapable woman.

It’s simply a sign that you haven’t taken the time to learn what actually works.

So, If You Don’t Know How to Build a Relationship, What Do You Do?

Luckily, I’ve put together what I think of as the world’s best resource to help any woman, at any level of “Man-Stupid”… quickly get herself up to speed with how men think and WHAT WORKS to catch a man’s interest from the first meeting to when a man can’t help but say “I love you”.

Don’t set yourself up for failure when you meet a man and start a new relationship because you haven’t taken the time to stop doing what hasn’t been working all these years… and start doing what works with a man.

Tons of new relationships heat up for a few weeks or months… and then quickly fall apart for what seems like no reason.

If you don’t know how to get things started with a man… and you think you can simply skip the “dating process” and arrive at a great relationship with a man, then I don’t have to tell you how hard things are going to be for you with a man – even if he is the right man for you.

It’s time to start living your best life, and helping the right man enjoy it with you.