Does he love you or not . . .
Question 1: Cheryl Paris asks . . .
“Mike, I need your help. I watched your ‘How To Know If A Man Really Loves You” webinar and so did my friend. She got a ZERO score. What should she do?”
Man, that webinar got a HUGE response and Maggie tells me we got hundreds of emails from ecstatic and/or devastated women talking about their “Score.”
(If you missed the webinar or the replay, on the call I explained what “love” really means to a man and gave you 7 simple questions you can ask yourself to know if he truly loves you or not.)
What Does a Zero Score Mean For Love?
Now, to be blunt a zero score is BAD. Very bad. It means the guy your friend is with is toxic, disconnected and probably mean or abusive.
At the very least he’s so focused on himself and his own BS that he doesn’t have room for anybody else.
Which means your friend should cry her tears, lick her wounds and leave him as quickly as she possibly can.
Because a guy like that isn’t going to change.
And a guy like that isn’t ever going to give her the love she deserves.
It sucks and I know there’s probably going to be complications (kids, money, houses, cars, TV night . . .who’s she going to watch Glee with?)
And I know how tempting it is to want to stick around and FIX him or for your friend to feel like a failure because she wasn’t “good enough” to earn his love and change him.
But that’s bullshit.
Your friend has the right to pursue happiness . . . and a man who can’t even get a 1 or a 2 on our little quiz isn’t somebody any woman should be forced to be with.
The best thing YOU can do is be there for your friend and help guide her out of the darkness.
Love Question Number 2:
Mellissa Burr Mulligan asks:
“While sitting and thinking of a question I was forced to realize that I have just been a safe place for my ‘boyfriend’ to be. He never would commit always coming up with an excuse but was always there for me when I needed. He will not make any kind of plans with me, not even dinner next friday –for example. I am always available for him. WOW! what a shmuck I am. :( and I have the nerve to feel ‘love’ for him? So I suppose my question really is, how can I come out of denial with grace and dignity? I have a physical yearning to be with him and I am not a ‘needy’ person– I promise!”
Hi Melissa, Thanks for your question and congratulations.
Why am I congratulating you?
Because you woke up to a dark and dismal reality and it looks like you’re facing it head on and without blaming yourself.
Which is rare and wonderful and awesome and you deserve to be celebrated for it.
Now to answer your question:
In a lot of my programs I talk about how “Love is a choice.”
After the chemical craziness of new love wears off you wake up everyday and DECIDE to be in love with that man or woman next to you.
But you can also choose NOT to be in love with someone.
You can’t choose not to be ATTRACTED to them (at least not at first) but you can choose not to be a VICTIM of that attraction.
To know that this man is bad for you no matter how much you crave his smell . . his hands . . his skin. What I recommend is you get a few of your best friends to be your support group. (They probably hate this guy anyway).
Lose his cell phone number.
Lose his email.
Unfriend him on Facebook.
Tell them you’re done, that you have more self respect than to be with a guy like that.
And stick to it.
And forgive yourself for falling for him.
It happens. We’re biological creatures and our biology can draw us to people who don’t deserve it.
And finally, Tabitha asks . . .
“How do I find THE ONE?”
“The One” isn’t something you find, it’s something you create.
There’s hundreds (thousands, maybe) of men you could be ecstatic with in this world.
The key is to find a great guy and build a relationship with him that deepens over time.
Do it right and you’ll wake up one day to see “the one” right there under your nose.
Mike’s forte is the text message. He can help you steam up your romance and attract men with just some words on a phone! For an incredible assortment of full texting scripts and great romantic texting ideas to try with a man, you’ll really want to check Michael out (I immediately downloaded Text The Romance Back and loved it so much – that’s why I’m recommending it here…) Go here to discover how you can nearly instantly create way more romance and love just be texting->