brokenheartsmall.jpgby TW (T Dub) A Jackson

After a break up, even if you were the one doing the breaking up, there is a period of loneliness. Not only are you missing the time that you spent with him, but there is also a piece of your heart that walked out the door when he did. If you are saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” here are some ways to get past the feeling.

There are two steps to getting over an ex. The first is to bring closure to the relationship and the second is to start on the next phase of your life. Closure is the psychological term for ending a phase of one’s life.

There are many things you can do to gain a sense of closure.

First of all, you should determine that he doesn’t want you back. As long as you think that there is a chance you can get back together, you will not begin to heal.

To that end, exchange all of the physical possessions you have. Don’t keep his toothbrush in your bathroom or hold on to his leather jacket. If you have left clothes or other possessions at his house, pick them up. If either of you owes the other money, pay it back as soon as possible.

Don’t contact him and don’t let him contact you. Perhaps you can be friends in the future, but right now, you need time to separate your emotional lives. If you give in and answer his phone calls, emails, or texts, you are just letting a wound fester.

If you find yourself saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” sit down and write about it. Write a letter to him sharing your feelings about the relationship and the break up. But don’t send it to him. Throw it away, or even better, burn it. This will help you bring closure to the relationship.

After you’ve gotten over the initial hurt of the break up, start putting yourself out there again. It might feel awkward at first, but you are going to have to face life as a single person sometime. The sooner you get back on the scene, the sooner you will meet someone new.

If your ex took up a big part of your life, you will want to find new past times. This may mean reconnecting with your girlfriends. Or, it may mean going out and finding new friends.

One of the best ways to fill the space an old boyfriend took up is to start something new. Join a class or a co-ed sports team. See if your local book store has a monthly book club. Start going to church again.

While it may be hard to get started on the social scene again, you will find that you miss your ex boyfriend much less when you are engaged in activities you enjoy.

When you have the opportunity to, start dating again. Even if the first guy isn’t someone you can see spending the rest of your life with, accept his invitation to dinner or the movies. As you get back into the routine of dating, you will be able to find a man who can appreciate and love you.

Whenever you hear yourself thinking “I miss my ex boyfriend,” do something that either brings closure to the relationship or propels you to move forward in your life.

This guy, T.W., has a video on his site about what he calls “The Magic Of Making Up” that explains a lot (I tried to find a picture of him for here – but you can see him in the video – he’s rough but cute)…and his stuff deals with the details – what to do, what to say…check him and the free information he puts out right here->

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