relationshipRelationship Question From A Reader:

A guy I was really interested in started pulling away ….and I made all the relationship mistakes such as chasing him, asking him why he hasn’t called , griped at him for not wanting to spend time with me. He of course just pulled away even further. He has even told me he felt like I was always nagging and telling him what he did wrong. I feel embarrassed for my actions and wished I could go back in time and handle things differently. I am 38 and have a daughter and I feel as I acted like a 10 year old and wore all my feelings on my sleeve. We are not dating now but we talked today and agreed to be friends.

1st question….
Is there anything I can do to change his opinion of me now ? I would love to see him romantically again and get back our relationship, but I know that may not happen – so, even if we become and remain only Friends, I would like to gain back some of  his respect and my dignity.

2nd question
How do I keep from nagging and still respect the feelings I have…..I seem to care too much too soon about people in general. I am a little too trusting and then have a little of a temper and have a hard time letting things go , even though I want to forgive and do forgive. How can I change the reactions I have that seem to only end up hurting myself more.

Thank you ,
Renee

Answer From Our Relationship Experts:

Dear Renee:

Usually, if a guy has deemed you a “friend” – that’s where you stay. So you have nothing to lose.

To Rekindle Interest in a Relationship, Try This:

1. When he calls (do not call him) say how good it FEELS to hear the sound of his voice.

2. Say you DON”T WANT to be just friends, you DON’T FEEL that way about him.

3. Tell him you’ve been looking at everything he said, and you FEEL embarrassed, and that you’re working now on all that stuff he brought up, that you APPRECIATE him telling you what was happening, and that you’d FEEL great seeing him or DATING him, but not as friends.

4. Then (and this is Rori Raye’s “Good Night Talk” tool), get yourself off the phone softly before he does. (Without asking him for “closure” or ANYTHING.)

5. Then, do not call him, not even if he leaves a friendly message, unless he specifically says to CALL HIM BACK.

6. DATE other men! This will help you practice the tools and be ready if and when he calls, and if he doesn’t someone else great will show up and you won’t repeat the same mistakes in your new relationship.

If dating seems like a huge, impossible, dread-filled thing to be doing right now – or just doesn’t seem right because your heart is “still with him…” then we can help with our “Crack The Secret Code to Online Dating” ebook. It’s not only got the nuts-and bolts of how to be successful dating online…it’s jammed with relationship advice to help you get from first contact with a new man, through dating him, and all the way to forever.

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