Have you ever been surprised by a man who seemingly becomes a totally different person than you thought you knew?
When suddenly your sweet mild-mannered date gets out-of-control angry at a driver on the freeway and puts you both at risk as he speeds up to catch the offending car.
Or when your charming, well-mannered date suddenly becomes abusive and nasty to a waitress and refuses to leave her a tip.
When you’ve been dating a man a for a few weeks or even a few months and you really like him, it’s natural for your mind to fill in the blanks about what you don’t know about him yet.
Your imagination will endow him with all the great qualities you’ve written down on your wish list of what you want in a man. Your feelings of sexual attraction and excitement for this new budding relationship carry you away. In your eyes he is now the perfect man for you.
The result at this “infatuation stage” is that you fall fast and hard and the part of you that longs for romance jumps to all sorts of conclusions about what a great man he is.
In your eyes he becomes everything you’ve ever wanted, and you already can see him as your ideal husband.
To find the right man, you have to hold back your wishful thinking and wait to let time reveal the truth of who this man really is. He will not be perfect and he will have faults, just like you.
You have to be aware of what you are assuming you know about this “stranger” and look at him without your rosy glasses.
Be aware how your mind naturally defaults into what I call “positive hoping.”
I’m not telling you to expect the worst from a man and watch for it, I’m just warning you that because your desire for a relationship is so strong your tendency will be to only see what will get you closer to that reality.
If you can refrain from making instant judgments and keep some objectivity through the headiness of a new romance, you will feel more in control and more confident about yourself.
You will be much less likely to end up on “Oprah” or “Dr. Phil” complaining about the surprises and unexpected revelations you’ve had with your man.
“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” ~Maya Angelou
Virginia Clark is an award-winning relationship coach who works with women in troubled relationships as well as with single women who are looking for their Mr. Right. With over 12 years of experience as a successful Certified Hypnotherapist, she is an expert on the power of the subconscious mind and its ability to transform one’s love life by uncovering the blocks to love and marriage.