The truth is there are many ways that you can try to win your ex back.
Some of them will be ways that have no chance of working!
Being overly pushy about it is one way that may seem appealing, because when we’re hurting, we want to DO SOMETHING about it – and fast. But no matter who tells you to “go for it,” the “pushy” and aggressive method of trying to get him back is doomed to failure in the overwhelming majority of cases.
There are also some ways that will have some chance of working, but will restart the relationship in a mode that is far too unhealthy for it to actually be able to last.
For example, some men will cave in to pressure and verbal abuse on a level far exceeding the pushiness mentioned above.
In a very small minority of people, this type of strategy can work in reigniting a relationship. However, those relationships are often abusive in one direction or another. That is not what you want for the man that you want to be the love of your life.
You Have To Remove Your “Natural Instincts” To Win Your Ex Back
In reality, the ways that have the best chance of working are obvious once you remove the natural instincts that most of us have when we’re feeling loss of love.
Things like honesty, genuine affection for your ex and the ability to leave them alone when they really need space from you are things that get clear once you drop the ego, pride and stubbornness that comes up in all of us in this awful situation.
The thing is, we have to stop focusing on our pain, and on our need to have things back the way they were in order to realize the truth of what is going on here.
And the truth of what is going on is this: Your ex is no longer there. At least he’s not there for now. It means he chose to end his relationship with you – at least for now.
What you’re trying to do is get him to not only voluntarily reverse that decision, but also voluntarily take it all the way back into the relationship you had beforehand.
For most men – that takes a HUGE shift in their thinking.
This is why “pushiness” and aggressive behavior on your part is not going to work.
Slowly turning his opinions about things, and his thoughts about what you had and about what went on between you by working on – even changing – the things about yourself that contributed to the break up in the first place will work, but you have to do it right.
Notice we said “contributed.” There’s absolutely no way to create an attraction that doesn’t exist. But there are ways to KILL an attraction – and if you can find any ways (fighting, nagging, mothering, smothering…so many things we women do that can wreck a relationship) to undo that damaging behavior and thinking and attitude – you can work miracles.
If You Want To Know How To Win Your Ex Back, Here’s A Way That Works:
There are two people that you need to look at. The first is the person that you were when your ex fell in love with you.
The second is the person that you were when your ended the relationship with you. If you can figure out what changed between these two people – the two “yous,” you’ll have a recipe for reversal that can get you to look attractive once again to your ex-lover.
Did you start taking him for granted? Did you criticize him? Were you suspicious of him, or questioning? Did you try to do too much and so took all the femininity out of yourself in the relationship?
Or – perhaps you were perfect – and HE’S really not worth your time! It’s entirely possible, that though it takes two to make a relationship – he’s simply not able to hold up his end. And even though it seems that it was HE who left the relationship – perhaps you were constantly, in a subconscious way, pushing him away because you KNEW – deep down – that he wasn’t right for you.
Your goal here is to make them look at you with interest once more. Unless they look at you with interest, you are not going to be able to win your ex back or get him to come back to you. He needs to be interested and attracted, just like he was the first time he feel in love with you. It’s easy to start from scratch.
Just forget about everything that has happened in the past – and start over in your own mind and heart. And he’ll do the same.
From the Editors: We searched through every “Get Him Back” book to find the one we wanted t recommend to you – because there are so many – and most are just copies of this wone we’re going to recommend: Michael Webb is one of the best known relationship “gurus” around – and his “Getting Him Back” ebook is written with tremendous care and research and psychological know-how. Take a look here and get your best shot to win your ex back.