How To Thank Yourself For You

Needs. Getting our needs met. This, to me, is what romantic relationship and meaningful work is all about, what we yearn for, what we feel depressed about, what we feel hopeless about or exhilarated about.

by Rori Raye

Our needs are met. Or they’re not.

And – it’s not just ANY needs that we need to be met – it’s the ones that heighten our awareness and experience of everything else that’s good.

There’s just nothing like love, romance, affection, attention, sex, appreciation of our work, appreciation at our work, and a nice paycheck…

It’s not good enough to have a roof over our head.

Oh…we’re grateful for it, we’re happy we’re not out in the cold – and, there are so many who are, and so many of us who’re AFRAID we MIGHT be out in the cold except for Grace – but it just doesn’t “float our boat” to be happy about having a roof over our head.

We take the “everyday” for granted when we’re missing the big ticket items like love, romance, affection, partnership, a soulful reason to get up in the morning and earn a living.

And on a holiday where we’re supposed to be “thankful” – it’s really, really hard to be “thankful” when we feel like there’s a big hole (perhaps many big holes) in our lives.

So – what to do?

It’s really easy to focus on “gratitude.” Easy in a good, fun, easy way – and too easy in the “it’s easy to SAY way.”

For me…I go about this a few different ways, and I try to go about it every day in some way.

1. “The Three Blessings.” Every night (or when I want to, or think of it…) I write down in a journal three things I’m grateful for – that I feel are blessings in my life. Once I sit down to write these things…it’s sort of amazing how many things – sometimes really SMALL things – come up for me. Try it.

2. Look in the mirror. Who do you see? You see the one person in this entire world you possess. The one person in this entire world you can totally trust, totally count on to be on your side. The one person you can put makeup on, dress up, order around, pet, moon over, sing to…a million little things…without checking with anyone else first. You are your treasure.

There’s no real way to argue with this! No matter how crappy things might be at this moment, or perhaps you’re starting to feel like things might actually be changing for you for the better (they are, if you’re doing the Modern Siren Tools and working with me and Rori Raye coaches on Siren Island)…you still have YOU.

Go reach out your hand and pet your image in the mirror.

Now run your hand down your other arm – slowly and sweetly, and watch yourself in the mirror. There’s no limit to how long and how lovingly you can do this…so you can never get bored or run out of parts of you to pet.

3. Say Thank You to the you in the mirror. In fact – say “I love you. Thank you.”

If you want to really try something, say “I love you. I forgive you. Thank you.” If you want to try the whole thing…and speak to all those parts inside you with different needs and experiences, say “I love you. I’m sorry. I forgive you. Thank you.”

That about covers any emotion you could be having – from beating yourself up over something, to getting all excited about yourself (good for you!!!)

Okay, yes, you can be thankful for the roof over your head, and that some of the needs on your needs scale are being met, and you can be thankful that you’re on track to get all the most fabulous of your needs met by the most fabulous man and fabulous work…but only if it feels good. Only if it’s true.

If you’re actually angry as anything about something…go ahead and be thankful for that! I mean – a good bit of fire in your belly, no matter where it came from or where it’s aimed is pretty grand, isn’t it?

If you’re actually feeling tearful and sorry for yourself – be thankful for that – because then you get to back and do numbers 1 through 3 here!

4. Imagine a fabulous life standing there – right in front of you and all around you – all the time – and that LIFE is saying Thank You. To YOU.

I say Thank You to you. You just are….so wonderful. I’m so glad to have you in my life.

In her books, CDs, DVDs and seminars, relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own, now-glorious two-decades-long marriage around. I’m a trained relationship coach, a former crisis counselor, and through my eBook, programs and newsletter, I’ve helped thousands of women succeed in love by teaching them the Tools I’ve created and developed with my clients – Tools that work quickly and effortlessly to change a struggling love life into Happy Ever After. If you’re not familiar with Rori’s work, please do yourself a favor and get her book “Have The Relationship You Want.” It will shift everything, almost overnight.

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