by Rori Raye
Continued from Part 2 on Jealous Love, where Alice told us about her feelings of jealous love that have torn apart her marriage.
I am so sorry you’re finding yourself in this situation.
I don’t know any woman who hasn’t experienced feeling out of control at least once, and you’re going through that now.
Jealous Love – Three Possible Situations:
One, if your husband has given you any real cause for being jealous, meaning he actually has been unfaithful or spending time with another woman, then please consider that you’re better off without him, even pregnant.
Two, if, however, what you say in your letter is true, that you are imagining all these scenarios that are making you jealous, then your first step is to realize that.
Or Three, if there’s a gray area, and he’s giving you cause to be suspicious by hanging out with friends where there are other women, or looking at porn and ignoring you, or actually spending time with other women who happen to be friends, or staying out late and not calling, then you have to make a decision whether to trust him or not, and what kind of behavior – exactly spelled out, is okay with you, and what isn’t.
And then you have to communicate that to him CLEARLY.
So, there’s a lot involved in this.
In Jealousy, there’s anger, fear, disgust, guilt, pain. Being jealous is one of the most uncomfortable feelings you can feel. Even rage feels better. Even pain and depression feels better.
Jealous feelings can be reasonable. If your man truly is cheating on you, jealousy is your warning flag.
Your feelings about even gray area behavior that feel BAD to you have to be listened to. You can’t ignore your feelings.
If a man is not giving you the attention you deserve, and makes you feel 2nd class, then jealousy isn’t what’s going on here. What you’re feeling is angry that he’s treating you this way, and fear that you may have to leave him in order to honor yourself.
It has nothing to do with another woman or your chances of losing him to another woman. It has everything to do with him not being a good enough man.
Jealous Love That Goes Out-Of-Control
The kind of jealousy that is running Alice is often about something that hasn’t even happened yet. Something that isn’t even real. It’s more the fear of it happening.
And it’s imaginary.
We see another woman anywhere near our man – or our man doesn’t even have to BE there. We see a woman and IMAGINE things. We imagine that he finds her more attractive.
We imagine him wanting to be with her.
We imagine ourselves lost and alone.
And all this is made up in our brains.
For my final observations about jealous behavior and the reasons behind it, to Part 4 of this article tomorrow…
From Sarah – Rori Raye rocks – even her sales pages are amazing, filled with information and help – she goes at this relationship thing and attraction thing in a different way than anyone out there. Visit her website to learn how you can have the relationship of your dreams, get your free Rori Raye newsletters, and get more tips about dealing with Jealous Love.