By Anita Revel

Q: How Can I Fall in Self-Love?
A: Have a Self-Love Affair!

When my single girlfriends wail that “there are no good men out there,” I suggest that before they think about serious relationships and marriage, they first marry themselves in order to find true love.

Things You’ll Need

* Open heart
* Self love
* A willingness to throw out old habits and self loathing

1. Set Your Intention. Work out what you want to achieve by marrying yourself. For example, “a lifelong commitment from a partner in a relationship that exudes happiness at every turn.” Before you can expect this commitment from someone else, you must first promise that you will do everything in your power to give this to yourself, every day.

2. Throw Out Self Loathing. Looking in the mirror and criticising your imperfections? Laughing off compliments and dismissing nods to your brilliance? Flying under the radar so your super-stardom goes unnoticed? These are classic signs that you have a degree of self-loathing. Self-loathing only serves to block you from finding happiness within. When you radiate unhappiness, you attract unhappy people. Unhappy people are generally commitment-phobes. So get over yourself girl, and repeat after me: “Self-loathing is for suckers.”

3. See Yourself As Goddess. Begin to notice your perfections when you look in the mirror. Receive compliments as graciously and copiously as you give them. Say “yes, yes, YES” a lot, with revellious and delightful energy. Practice shameless acts of joy and master joyous acts of shame. Affirm yourself daily with delicious words including “magical, mystical, sparkling, juicy, ethereal, beauty, intuitive, divine.” When you see yourself as Goddess, this is the gorgeous energy you radiate and hence, you begin to attract similarly gorgeous people into your life.

4. Be Your Own Best Friend. Tell yourself jokes. Spoil yourself rotten. Keep yourself entertained by doing what YOU want to do. Write down a promise to self that you will “never put baby in the corner.” Flick “friends” that dare to support habits of self-loathing. Become a magnet to new friends that are a reflection of your perfection.

5. Create Your Day. Now that you are your own little solar system and the brightest little star at the centre of your own cosmos, it is time to invite family and friends who love you as much as you love yourself, and to help you celebrate your rocking divinity. Picture your perfect ceremony in your head, see the smiling faces of your friends as they witness your joy, play with wedding vows until you have the perfect expression of your perfect self.

6. Let the Party Begin. Set the date, find your venue, send out invitations, and let the party of self-love begin.

Note from Sarah: Anita Revel has terrific stuff for you to discover and read…you can get to her at

1 Comment

  1. Lucy on January 13, 2009 at 9:27 am

    This certainly is a unique perspective! Great question. I have been trying to learn how to love myself for years now. Your blog marks down a lot of the ideas I am into. Seeing myself as a Goddess? Check! Being my own best friend? Check! Creating my own reality? Check! This made me smile; Thanks.

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