Breaking Out of Bedroom Boredom
So you and your S.O. have been together for a while now, and the hot, fire-hose of passion that you once could not get enough of has cooled to a lukewarm trickle?
Don’t fret. We have some hints that can help get your taps turned back on.
After a while in all relationships, we establish familiar patterns. In some aspects of life, we find comfort in the routine of these patterns and habits with our partner – but this can also lead to developing boredom in the bedroom.
Here is a list of five things you and your partner can do to break out of the accustomed routine and into excitement and discovery:
- Only fooling around every once in a while, at night, in bed, (and, if you have children) after the kids have gone to sleep?
- How about amping it up by sending each other a couple ‘secret language’ text messages, setting up a meet-at-home-for-lunch-quickie?
- Or waking up early and making out – touching and teasing each other in anticipation of what you could have later that day?
- The only time you need is the time for each other – and like exercise, the more you do it, the better it gets.
- Even if you are both used to the ‘easy missionary position’ you can make some adjustments to add spice without sacrificing comfort. How about sitting on a chair? If you need more surface area, throw a blanket on the floor and straddle each other.
- You don’t have to be panting and thrusting hard, just breathing and touching (all over), looking at each other, and even laughing is ok. Sex is supposed to be fun, after all.
- Unfortunately, in America we still attach sex to the stigma of being ‘dirty’ and so we hesitate to research, purchase and use sex books and tools in a healthy, positive and effective way.
- There are some wonderful, new devices out there that can crank up the spice level.
- Don’t be shy to try.
- Always on the bed, in your own room, lights out?
- You have an entire house to have sex in – who cares if it’s clumsy, awkward or even a little uncomfortable?
- Turn on some music, jump in the shower together, throw a sheet on the couch or towels on the floor and turn on those tools… and each other.
5. Who Comes First?
- There is nothing hotter than someone who is simply enjoying the act of sex without a set goal in mind.
- Sex can also mean a really nice foot rub followed by a little oral stimulation, or just tickling tongues and toes together…
- Of course we enjoy the climax or the ‘finish’ as it were, but if you are just letting go of your stress, living in the moment, however long or short it may be, and really staying focused on each other, it will come.
- Don’t be afraid to give each other directions from time-to-time. It’s ok to gently guide your lovers hands/mouth/body to a whispered, “put your fingers here,” or “please baby, I love it when you do this….” (fill in the blank) followed by an “oh, yes” or “you make me feel so good” response.
6. Keep It Up
- Outside the bedroom, give each other support and patience. Try listening to your partner and not talking, just being mentally and emotionally available.
- Discuss sex with your clothes on. Talk about what a great experience you had the last time – chuckle together and remind each other what worked and maybe even suggest (in your partner’s ear) what you would like to try next time….
Here’s wishing that next time comes often – and the taps get turned on full blast for both of you!
Better Love, Better Sex, Better Life!
–Your Team at LRR