by Patty Contenta
Have you ever been in a room where a woman has so much confidence she walks in like she owns the place? She may not be the most beautiful or the one showing the most skin, yet there’s something about her that grabs your attention.
The very sight of her makes you feel as small as a pea. It’s almost like any light that may have been shining on you a second ago is now completely enveloping her. All eyes in the room seem to now be enticed by her…
She seems to have a confidence that comes from having figured out the powerful combination of the physical attributes and personality characteristics.
She is at a place where she has defined herself and can now sell it to anyone that comes her way.
I was faced with this reality every time I walked onto a competitive dance floor. As I was lined up with my dance partner, my nerves would be chattering, bringing up those thoughts like “I hope I don’t mess up my turn.” Or “I hope the judges don’t think I’m fat.”
Can you imagine?
But with a few deep breaths and focusing on my partner, I was able to control my thoughts. And the moment the MC called out our number…it was SHOWTIME!
My insecurities just melted away because my body had memorized the movements it needed to feel sensual, powerful and deserving of all the attention.
My body was the tool I used to remind my spirit of the beautiful woman that I am.
How Does a Woman Gain the Confidence to Have All Eyes on Her?
Her physical and mental attitude is congruent.
When your personal truth is negative and filled with doubt and distortions, the words you speak may say one thing, but your body language speaks a louder truth that contradicts all you claim to be.
In fact, one week ago I was at a happy hour in an elegant restaurant with 2 girlfriends of mine. We had planned this night out so we were dressed to impress. When we walked into this place, we felt like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda from Sex and the City making their usual entrance into a bar.
We succeeded in getting some heads to turn…I actually coached them how to walk before we went in. Next step was to encourage men to approach us. We set up a kind of semi circle towards the crowd. With our drink in hand, we chatted about nonsense…you know, the kind of deep and enriching conversation about hair, make up and clothes that we women can easily get into!
As the evening progressed, some men began to approach, but only after we “OK’d” them with our combination of prolonged eye contact and smiles. Something interesting began to happen; the men were conversing with my girlfriend Chantal and I and rarely acknowledged my friend Maria.
What was going on here? Well, upon closer observation, I noticed what Maria was doing. Every time a man approached us, she instantly put her purse and her drink in front of her chest like a barrier.
I hope you can visualize what that looks like. NOT GOOD!
At the end of the evening, I had to ask her if she realized what she was doing. To her surprise, she didn’t have a clue.
Through probing, she then realized why she always did this.
She admitted to being very subconscious about her chest. She was never comfortable with the size of her breasts…understand that my friend Maria has a generous size.
You would think that with an abundant chest size she’d have many men approach her, however the reverse happened that night because her insecurity came out loud and clear through her body language.
Your physical body is a piece of the portrait, but your awareness of your body and its potential to express who you are and your confidence and inner strength as a woman is the key.
Confidence Come from Inner Strength
So how do you enrich your inner strength?
You need to focus on your assets.
Start by looking at how you present yourself. First impressions and lasting impressions need to go hand in hand.
Here are 3 areas you need to keep in check.
1. Appearance – this involves more than your face and figure.
It’s your tone of voice, your accent; it’s how you carry yourself when sitting, standing or dancing. Even how you touch a man speaks volumes about your issues with intimacy.
2. Presence, your energy, spirit, – all those qualities that help you bond with people.
When having a conversation with someone, be sure to maintain solid eye contact that is sincere and welcoming.
In a public place, do you just show up, or do you arrive prepared with a plan of action? Do you mingle with people and include them into your conversation by asking them questions? Do you stand up straight and go through some sensual stances in the center of the room, instead of up against the wall? Do you smile and use eye contact to invite people to approach you?
3. Personality – this is what makes you YOU!
It is your authentic self, the part of you that makes you different from all the rest. It’s about having an opinion and being genuine. Love everything about you…your age, your heritage, your taste in food, your work, your hobbies…EVERYTHING!
So can you see how balancing all 3 areas can make you more complete and confident–the kind of confidence that people are attracted to. The kind of confidence that makes you radiate from the inside out and outside in.
You must realize that to become this type of woman takes daily practice. It’s an investment in yourself that you cannot ignore. You are worth the time to become the type of woman that everyone gravitates to.
Every moment of every day is the choice to create the lifestyle you want. And the key to achieving the sensuality
you seek is…PREPARATION!
Take 60 seconds before going to bed, before leaving your home, before arriving at your destination, before meeting someone, even before picking up your kids, to visualize how all the areas (appearance, presence and personality) will come together harmoniously.
From Sarah: This article is just the tip of the iceberg of what Patty Contenta can do for you and your confidence level. You can get her very best, tried and true secrets for attracting, charming and seducing any man your heart desires in her free newsletters and her incredible videos. Just go here to get your free newsletters and watch the videos – they’ll help you so much to lift your confidence and attract men->