How To Have A Successful First Date

I often hear from women who are entering or reentering the dating world and feel uncertain on what to say about themselves on the first date.

by Jen Michelle

How do you know when you’re entering the realm of oversharing versus feeling like a robot trying to navigate what to do and what not to do inside your head?

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a first date, especially when there’s chemistry and potential.

It’s critical to be able to manage this energy so you’re not feeling like you’re blurting random things out, or sharing painful and personal experiences in an effort to connect, protect or “sell” yourself.

I speak from experience on this! In the past if I went on a date with a man I found extremely attractive, my nervous energy would completely take over.

In order to avoid a millisecond of discomfort, I would start talking, oversharing, and overcompensating for my perceived flaws.

Needless to say, this didn’t lead to men falling madly in love with me, and after the honeymoon period of three to six months ended, the relationship would fizzle out.

As I learned from my past experiences, and did the necessary work on myself to not let my nervous energy and past wounds lead, my love life completely changed.

I am now happily married to my dream partner and there is nothing more I love than helping women find her match or heal what’s blocking her in drawing in the type of deep loving connection she yearns for.

I want to share three things I recommend a woman not share on a first date, some may feel intuitive, some less so.

Three Things Not To Share On A First Date

Don’t Talk About Your Ex

I’ve talked to so many women who share for some reason they can’t seem to avoid the ex conversation.

There are many reasons visiting this subject can feel good at the moment.

You want the new man to know you were desired, or that you’ve had a long term relationship before. You may want him to know what you’ve been through so he’ll want to step up and be a better man.

We have all kinds of interesting subconscious reasons to share our relationship history, yet it’s in your best interest to avoid this turning into a first date topic.

If he asks, I recommend to share minimally, to speak overall positively about yourself, don’t get into a negative dialogue or let open wounds lead.

Keep it light, fun, and be present.

Men are attracted to authentically happy women, so if you can be in your light, this will draw an empowered masculine man in effortlessly.

Don’t Complain About Your Job

As women, we connect through sharing our experiences.

You don’t want to get caught in sharing negative experiences or focusing on the things that aren’t going well, especially on a first date!

It’s key to remember that men are not wired the same as women, and have a lower threshold when it comes to complaining as well as listening to gossip.

When you slow yourself down on a date, you can filter your thoughts before speaking and decide if it’s in alignment with what you value, who you are, and something you’ll feel good about.

When you don’t slow yourself down or manage overactive energy, that’s when you’re later remorseful or embarrassed, feeling like you overshared or gave him the wrong impression of who you truly are underneath all of the nerves.

Don’t Lie Or Exaggerate

Catch yourself wanting to embellish, adorn, or showcase yourself or your talents.

Filter such impulses first and check in to see where within you it’s coming from. Are you wanting his approval? His admiration?

Are you trying to impress him?

Take a pause and let all of this come up within you before speaking.

Then, practice sharing the real you, the gorgeous, emotionally beautiful woman that’s underneath where you live, what car you drive, how far you can run, or various other accomplishments.

Notice yourself wanting to share from this space and simply stop.

Recognize that you’re absolutely enough just as you are.

There is nothing you need to do, show, or earn when it comes to attracting the man you want. The more you allow yourself to slow down, and be revealed overtime while owning your value, the more drawn to you he will be.

I have many different ways I can support you on your path to getting the love you want.

Try my digital program When He Walks Through The Door to set yourself up for first date success.

“As a Certified Relationship Coach with a Masters in Social Work, my passion is helping my clients figure out what’s not working in their relationship and their lives and getting them back on track. I have techniques, scripts and personal experience that you can learn from and use to turn your love life around to find and keep the man of your dreams.” Jen Michelle’s program When He Walks Through The Door applies to any stage of love, whether you’re dating, in a new relationship, or want to attract a man back!

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