Feeling Like You Are Surrounded By The Enemy?
We all think the enemy is somewhere out there, that some person, force or nation is out to harm us in some way.
Rather than live a life focused upon what they want, many people’s lives center around protecting themselves from their enemies, devising strategies to beat them.
However, enemies consume time, attention, resources, well-being and happiness in life itself.
And the odd thing about enemies is that even when we defeat one, ten more seem to immediately appear. Even when they think they are winning over their enemies, they are losing a life of freedom, health and good will.
The smartest, simplest and easiest way to get rid of your enemy is to turn him/her into a friend. It actually takes only a moment to do this. Stop for a moment and ask yourself, who decided this person or situation is my enemy?
Now you can turn that decision around and decide the person is a friend. You can decide to become a friend to that person, (or to that situation or condition), to stop fighting and respond with kindness and care.
You can choose to see other aspects of that person, which are not in opposition to you. Once you step out of the dance they are doing, how can they hurt you?
The True Enemy In Your Life
The next step would be to take a deep breath and realize where the true enemy is hiding. What exactly is it that is keeping you in constant turmoil?
This is the moment to realize that your true enemy is within. It is your very own hatred, anger, fear and upset.
The true enemy is the propensity we have for projecting our anger and fear outside into the world, for pinning it on people and situations and then battling with them. It is extremely dis-empowering to project your darkness upon someone else.
It gives the other person power over you. Until we stop this, more and more enemies will keep appearing. Ultimately, they are the creations of our own mind and heart.
Below are some steps to take, to live a life free of enemies. Try them and see how easy and enjoyable they really are.
Step 1: Make Friends With Your Enemy
Allow yourself a moment of willingness to consider the possibility that your enemy wants the same things in life and is, most likely, just as afraid of you as you are of them.
Say to yourself – “Like me, my enemy wants to be happy and safe.
Like me, my enemy has suffered and wants to be free of pain.
Like me, my enemy is lonely.
Like me, my enemy will one day face loss and death.”
Step 2: Identify Your Enemy
- Make a list of those people (or situations) you feel are your enemies. (You may be astonished to note that even those you love are fearful to you).
- Write down three valuable qualities this enemy has.
- Write down three ways you have gained from knowing them.
- Write down what is needed for you to see them as a friend.
Step 3: Reclaiming Your Power
- Upon whom have you projected most negativity?
- What about this person is so unacceptable?
- Can you see these qualities in yourself as well?
- For just a moment, can you accept these qualities in yourself? (This doesn’t mean act upon them, just accept them for what they are now).
Step 4: Turn It Around
- Offer your enemy the gift of respect.
- Offer your enemy the gift of really listening and knowing them.
- Stop judging your enemy. Let them be who they are.
- Give your enemy what they want and need. Just one time.
- Do it again now.
- Notice how wonderful it feels.
- Take time to notice how it feels to live in a world of friends!
by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna