by Arielle Ford
As most of you know, step #1 of The Soulmate Secret for how to get love is all about forgiveness: Forgiving yourself for all the ways you make yourself wrong for past relationships and forgiving your “ex’s” for all the ways you judge them as having done you wrong.
Today, with my dear friend and expert Heide Banks, we are going to look at not only why you must forgive to get love, but how to forgive.
“A life without forgiveness is a life half-lived. There’s not one person on this planet that doesn’t have something or someone they need to forgive. When we hold these things inside ourselves, our life doesn’t flow. But, here’s the trick: we think because we hold a grudge in one area (like a business deal gone bad) we think it doesn’t affect our love life.
Once you are wounded in any area of life (business, childhood, relationships, etc) it creates a block in our energy and our ability to attract to us the things we want, to get love. It also affects our ability to fully experience joy and abundance in our lives. When you look to see where you haven’t forgiven, go beyond your relationships, go to every area of your life,” she advises.
So, Then HOW do We Forgive and Get Love?
“The first step is to hold the intention to have the courage to look at these things. Because often when we look at these things it brings up a lot of self-judgment. It requires that we look through kind and healing eyes. Once you see an area where, perhaps you had responsibility, treat yourself with the same degree of love and compassion that you would give a friend. If you feel stuck, just start by free form writing the answer to this question: “what do I need to forgive?””
Often we don’t want to look at these things because it brings up a memory of lost possibilities. Things we believe would have happened, could have happened or should have happened, had not this injustice been done to us. Even more important than forgiving another, it’s urgent to forgive ourselves.
We Need to Get Love from Ourselves Before We Can Get It from Others
Somehow we believe that we need to confront another individual to gain the relief we are looking for from these judgments. Your capacity to experience joy and success is in direct correlation with your ability to forgive yourself and others. Often, this can be accomplished with as simple an act as writing a letter and then burning it (no need to send the letter). I always encourage my clients to include a prayer:
Dear Father, Mother, God,
I ask to be assisted to release whatever is binding me to these judgments and for the grace of forgiveness to flood my mind, my body and my soul, all for the highest good of all concerned.
I forgive myself for judging myself as.
I ask to be showered with a sweet joy.
So be it.
Who or what will you forgive today? Many thanks, to the wise and wonderful Heide Banks for sharing her wisdom with us. You can email her at [email protected]
Wishing you love, laughter & magical kisses,
From Sarah: Isn’t Arielle incredibly insightful. She finds so many fountains of knowledge and pools of resources, and brings them straight to you. Go to her site to get more about how you can get love.