by Virginia Feingold Clark
Have you ever been with a date who’s attention it constantly drawn to every pretty girl who walks by?
One minute you’re having a good conversation and the next you’re talking to the back of his head. He may seem unaware that he’s being so rude but it can crush your confidence, especially if you’re already self-conscious about your looks.
I know how it feels because I dated a photographer who was always looking for the next beautiful model to photograph.
He would actually approach women when we were out on a date and give them his card. I put up with this because I rationalized that his interest in them was “purely professional” and I didn’t want to stand in the way of his career. Boy was I in for a surprise.
I tell this story in my book “It’s Never Too Late To Marry” and I tell you how I finally stood up for myself.
Does this sound familiar? I didn’t think he was “romantically” interested in any of these women, after all he was my boyfriend.
But one night, when I was waiting for him to finish his photo shoot with one of his new models, he called me drunk from a bar and canceled our date.
I didn’t want to believe he was with her but later I saw photographs taken of them together. I finally realized that he was cheating on me all along behind my back.
Back to Your Date
Mine was an extreme case. But if your man is always ogling other women it’s a problem and it’s your place to call his attention to it, especially if it is hurting you.
We know men are visual and it’s hard for them not to give quick look if a beautiful woman walks by, but it is a matter of degree and their intent.
A man who truly cares for you will attempt to change his behavior if he knows it is causing you upset. But you have to tell him. You need to point out what he is doing, preferably right at the time it’s happening.
If you tell him after the fact, it is easier for him to deny it or accuse you of being too sensitive. If you don’t tell him and just put up with his bad behavior you are hurting yourself and chipping away at your self-esteem.
Be Honest with Your Date
You will build your confidence as a woman by bringing it up and firmly but gently asking him to stop; that is the only way to give him a chance to change.
If your date continues staring at other women despite knowing the pain it’s causing you there are two possibilities. He doesn’t care about you enough to stop or it has become an unconscious habit, just like biting his finger nails.
This habit can be changed like any habit, with awareness and work. He has to be willing to admit to it and seek the help of hypnosis or a trained counselor.
But if you know in your heart, he is choosing to be this way and doesn’t intend to stop, if he blames you for being too jealous or possessive, it’s now your choice. Continue to put yourself in a situation where you feel badly about yourself, or walk away and find a man who only has eyes for you!
And as always, if you need more support on how to get married, or with any relationship problem, take advantage of my 30-minute No Charge Phone Consultation.
I am so happy to be connecting to you here and I welcome your questions and your thoughts.
In the meantime don’t forget, things can change in an instant, don’t lose hope!
Virginia is the real deal. Her story of meeting her man late in life and getting married (she’d never been married before) is amazing, and her ebook “It’s Never Too Late To Marry” will give you the hope you need, step-by-step instructions on how to make it happen for yourself, and the inspiration to transform your love life. Go here to check out Virginia and learn how to have the date you want->