How To Connect With Him No Matter What

If you’re not feeling heard, and not having the impact on the world (and world of romance, too) that you’d like, try the “Listen To Everything” tool.

by Rori Raye

First – I know you KNOW you can have the impact you want. You can feel it deep inside you, even when all the arguments among the many voices in your head jostling for attention suddenly get really loud.

It’s the pattern we ALL know well.

We want to do something, we begin to think we CAN do something, and then, like clockwork, the arguing voices chime in.

By the time we’ve run back and forth between all the voices, run the scale of rage to despair over all the reasons we’re not doing what we want and think we can do, we feel exhausted.

Here’s the Listening To Everything Tool:

We, each of us, only have three options for listening to anyone, anytime.

I can be either:

1. Listening To Myself

2. Listening To You


3. Listening To Everything.

You can be either:

1. Listening To Yourself

2. Listening To Him or Her


3. Listening To Everything

We’re all very comfortable with Listening To Ourselves.

In fact, that’s what most of us do all the time!

When was the last time you were having a face-to-face or phone or zoom conversation with ANYONE, where YOU felt “heard”?

Where you could feel the other person’s complete attention on you?

And when was the last time you were listening to someone where you were completely immersed in their words and presence – without a thought about yourself in your head?

We’re all so used to conversing with ourselves, talking to the many voices whispering, screaming, nagging, judging, encouraging…inside our own heads – it almost seems impossible to let our minds drift enough to allow us to feel like we’re really just “here.”

This is true for almost everyone. Hardly any of us ever feel truly listened to, or truly just “here.”

That’s why learning to Listen To Everything can leap you levels of connection, happiness and success you hadn’t even considered.

This simple Tool can get you to Having It All faster than anything else.


Because practically NO ONE Listens To Everything!

Practically no one even knows how to DO it!

In fact – when we’re all very tied up listening to ourselves, we’re not even close to Listening To Everything, so we have so little practice at it!

Listening To Everything isn’t a mystery as a “concept” – and it IS something unfamiliar in “practice.”

Let’s start with the idea of Listening To Everything – and then expand that to Being About Everything.

So how do you walk around being all about everything?

1. Let’s say you’re sitting over coffee with some man. He could be a man you love, a man you’d like to love, or your boss, or a businessman who could become a real mentor to you professionally, or someone who could hire you for your dream job.

You can also imagine this as sitting over coffee with a woman – who could be your boss, your co-worker, a potential business mentor (like me!).

2. You start by staying in touch with your body and your feelings – and then he or she talks, and you’re Listening to Him or Her instead of to Yourself.

You do this simply by being over where he or she is, and NOTICING when you’re falling into just Listening To Yourself.

(For now – let’s imagine you’re doing this with a man, because, for us women, this seems like the least comfortable and most “triggering” situation.)

3. Now – let’s “up” this to Option # 3 – Listening To Everything:

While you’re responding “like a girl,” in Feeling Messages…

While you’re staying in tune with yourself and speaking the Truth…

4. You’re AWARE of everything that’s going on around you:

The temperature in the room, the noise level, the air conditioner, the sound of dishes, or cars.

Rather than “distracting” you from Listening To Yourself Or Listening To Him or Her – it ADDS to the whole thing.

It puts you in CONTEXT. It makes you feel human. It keeps you from zeroing in on anything.

5. In order to do this, you have to sink into yourself, relax your shoulders, do the whole Rori Raye Dance Position, and be WITH everything.

This will mess with your head.

It will interrupt your thinking, because you can’t be spinning/thinking and be WITH everything, in the PRESENT, at the same time.

6. So try it out in the world.

Sit down with a friend or a co-worker, or stand up with the cashier at the market, and try it.

When he or she talks, be about Everything.

7. This means being with yourself, while at the same time being over there with him or her – where they are, and also experiencing everything else in the environment around you!

It’s not as hard or disconnecting as it sounds. Once you try it – it feels like it’s UNIFYING the entire experience of being anywhere and listening to anyone or anything. It feels natural.

8. Try it by yourself. Sit or stand in the middle of the room, wherever you are, and see if you can Listen to everything. Everything that’s vibrating, or speaking, or sending energy out into the space, or sucking it down.

9. Relax your body in bits and pieces, shoulders first, then pelvis, then move around your body and breathe.

10. See if you can blend this awareness of your body with an awareness of the sound of birds calling outside the window, or the hum of your computer.

*And how does this change your relationship with the person in front of you?

Because your entire “vibe” changes when you do this.

You become soft and calm, and so much stronger on the inside. You become present.

No matter who it is in front of you – he or she feels heard. He or she feels safe.

In a romantic relationship – he feels like he can’t get superficial, stupid stuff past you.

He can feel your depth. YOU can feel your depth. Feeling Messages get easier. You’re breathing.

In a work situation, the other person suddenly feels important. They feel that YOU feel comfortable with their importance.

It automatically not only creates a back-and-forth respect – it makes that person want to be around you!

Romantically, this is terrific. Professionally – it’s astounding!

It’s amazing how quickly people will rush to make your life easier, to vie for the honor of assisting your journey to the top of the professional place you want to go.

When you truly HEAR someone else – they become your loyal supporter.

So – next time you find yourself in front of another human being – instead of focusing on the voices inside your own head, Listen to Everything.

In her books, CDs, DVDs and seminars, relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own, now-glorious two-decades-long marriage around. I’m a trained relationship coach, a former crisis counselor, and through my eBook, programs and newsletter, I’ve helped thousands of women succeed in love by teaching them the Tools I’ve created and developed with my clients – Tools that work quickly and effortlessly to change a struggling love life into Happy Ever After.

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