Every time you look at a man, you have a choice in that moment.
You can think about something you’re lacking – something you’re NOT getting from him – or you can think about something you LIKE about him, or something he does that makes you feel fantastic. That option is yours!
I’ll never forget talking with my mentor Rori Raye about this shortly after I became a relationship coach – it’s still one of the best pieces of relationship advice I’ve ever gotten!
Many women choose to come from a place of LACK – whether they’re conscious of this or not – because most of us were somehow raised to wallow in pain and then “rise above it.” We’re often INSPIRED by our anger or our jealousy.
For me, this was especially the case with the “nice guys” who wanted to love me – I was always looking for reasons to “disqualify” them.
When you’re coming from a place of LACK when you’re with a man – it comes across as needy – and he’ll start to feel like whatever he does, he can never make you happy.
This can cause a lot of damage in a relationship – it ultimately makes a man feel LESS attracted and connected to you, and it pushes him away.
When it comes to relationships, we’re often in a place of judgment, defensiveness, and attack – without even realizing it!
Deep down we tend to think that if we’re not complaining or attacking, we’re going to get hurt.
When we’re coming from this place, we’re actually REPELLING love. When we’re actively judgmental or attacking, we start to sink into a malaise in our heart where we feel unworthy of love because we’re unwilling to be loving.
Deep down you may equate being loving with “giving to get.” You may think you’re being loving towards someone – but if your motivation is to GET something from them in return, that’s not loving.
That’s when love can feel UNSAFE – because what you’re experiencing isn’t love, even though you may have been taught that’s what love is. Love isn’t trying to “get” anything – love IS everything! It doesn’t lack.
Next time you look at a man, try thinking about something you LIKE about him, or something he does that makes you feel cherished and adored.
This will instantly shift your vibe and bring him CLOSER by making him feel more attracted and connected to you!
From Erin at LoveRomanceRelationship: Helena Hart is a tremendous relationship coach and offers some real wisdom in her programs, which you can check out here! <== We’re big fans of her work. You will be too…