How To Avoid The Rose-Colored-Glasses Of A New Relationship

When you’re really interested in a man you’re dating or in a situation in a relationship where a man is pulling away, there is a tendency to build him up while simultaneously pulling yourself down.

by Jen Michelle

I remember so many times in my own dating life being so impressed by a man within the first few days that I would build him up high in my head, making him way out of my league.

I would put him above me, not seeing my own value and worth when it came to love and dating.

I’d go into a default mode of working to prove my value and worth to him. I wanted men to see how amazing I was, not realizing that working for it in this way was only devaluing myself in his eyes.

When a woman allows such instinctual fears to take over, she’s moving way into her masculine energy. She’s now working to prove to a man that she’s worthy or special, energetically driving the ship in hopes he’ll choose her, rather than softening and allowing him to see this naturally on his own.

Three Ways To Remove A Man From A Pedestal

1. Access The Confidence And Self-love Within You

When a woman isn’t confident in herself, a man loses attraction.

If you’re in a situation where you’ve put a man above you, you’re likely thinking about everything you might say wrong. You’re worrying about looking dumb and trying to make sure you don’t turn him off somehow.

As a result, you completely stop being yourself when around him and start overthinking everything. You find yourself panicking or freezing. You find yourself filling in the quiet spaces with awkward or regrettable dialogue and later feel angry with yourself for lacking the discipline to remain calm and centered in his presence.

This becomes a vicious cycle of beating yourself up and then having to work even harder to show a man your value.

When you recognize this cycle, you want to slow down and shift gears.

You want to notice why you’re feeling the need to prove yourself and work so hard.
You then start to change your behaviors based on what feels good, thus building more confidence and love for yourself.

If he’s the man for you, he’ll feel this shift and will adjust too.

2. Stop Trying To Energetically Chase Him

Men are perceptive and can sense when a woman is chasing him, even if she’s not overtly calling or reaching out.

If you’re feeling insecure like you don’t deserve this man, he’ll feel it. Things will feel off to him at a gut level.

If you find yourself feeling this way, you want to direct this energy inward. You want to practice completely being in your own skin and stop taking action out of the fears or insecurities that show up.

When you allow these low-energy behaviors to lead, you end up creating more issues that you’ll feel like need to be addressed or straightened out.

Whereas if you’re keeping your side of the road clean, you’ll not be creating from this space. You’ll reset the energy dynamic in allowing him to initiate and move it forward.

3. Be Willing To Let Him Go

When you’re willing to let a man go, he often then realizes he’s quite content just where he is.

Men crave freedom and they fear being stuck or trapped into a situation.

When a woman comes from a place of abundance knowing she has options no matter her circumstances or age, he can feel this.

It makes him crave being around her because she’s signaling she loves herself more.

When you choose to let him go and love yourself more, you’ll find he doesn’t want to be anywhere else!

When you find yourself holding tight, you’ll hear all kinds of excuses or reasons as to why he can’t take it to the next level or why he can’t spend time with you.

Love is counterintuitive; so often what you think will get you what you want, is often the opposite.

“As a Certified Relationship Coach with a Masters in Social Work, my passion is helping my clients figure out what’s not working in their relationship and their lives and getting them back on track. I have techniques, scripts and personal experience that you can learn from and use to turn your love life around to find and keep the man of your dreams.”
When He Walks Through The Door applies to any stage of love, whether you’re dating, in a new relationship, or want to attract a man back!

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