I got this wonderful comment on a video today about being “A Cool Girl” (in a feminine energy sense!) – and it started me on this post:

By Rori Raye

“…there is definitely a certain type of man that likes the drama (childish, narcissistic) vs the kind that responds to feelings…”

My reply is: “Yes, and you’ve nailed it!”

When you’re attracting “childish, narcissistic” men – men who do NOT treasure your well-being and respond to your feelings – that’s a BIG clue that you’re in your masculine energy.

That you’ve armored yourself up, shut down your emotional self, and have disabled the “polarity” attraction that happens in any attraction scenario.

If you want a masculine energy man, who’ll love you and care about you and want to touch you and hold you all the time – the only way to do it is to sink into the opposite energy of his – into your feminine energy, your emotional self.

I just thought of some famous couples on HGTV who totally demonstrate this!:

The awesome Joanna Gaines, Chip Gaines couple, who couldn’t be MORE demonstrative of this polarity thing…and in SO many creative and unique ways!

First, why do we ALL love Joanna? Why do we so respond to her?

Because she’s about the most authentically herself person who is naturally and instinctively an introverted and emotionally armored person (she says this herself everywhere…she’s the introvert, Chip is the extrovert…) we’ve ever seen on TV.

Nearly everyone else, every other woman on TV – is TRYING. Working at it. Pushing out being cute, being funny… and it’s literally repellent.

Joanna, on the other hand, is like an actual pioneer woman – straightforward, honest (honesty drips off of her – she can’t stop herself from being “real”) – and is so obviously much more interested in getting help and information to us every time she speaks, and sharing what she knows and does that she truly believes might be valuable for us – than she cares about what we think of her.

Her feminine energy does not come from “lightness” or “sweetness” – it comes from the feminine manifesto of doing what you feel, what you want to do.

What my Business Siren Protocols in The Business Siren’s Handbook are all about.

Everything Joanna does (and her life is a pretty open book) comes from her own aesthetic, her own sensibilities her own desires (make a magazine, make a bakery, make a restaurant..) where her desires and dreams get turned into concrete reality (literally) by her partner, Chip Gaines, and her own “Inner Boy” energy.

And her partner, Chip, seems a total goofball without a filter.

He’ll jump at anything do anything, say anything, be a kid to play with his kids – and absolutely NONE of it seems planned, or on purpose, or even thought through. He’s an absolutely natural force of nature who also – though he never shows it to us, has a masculine-tuned brain – and LOVES the limelight.

A recent article he wrote was sharing what happened for him mentally when he realized that Joanna was the “star” of the family, and NOT him – as he’d always planned and imagined.

He talks about what it’s like to suddenly turn his engines to “support” rather than “star.” And he’s figured out a way to do that, happily it seems, without changing his child-like, fun nature even a bit.

And – what is this for us? Sexy.

Joanna and Chip are sexy. They are complex, they are open books, and their energies are SO polarized they send sexiness across the airwaves.

The other couple I like is Ben and Erin on Hometown. He’s a bear of a man, she’s an elfin powerhouse.

Yes, they emphasize “cute” on the show, with his arm ALWAYS around her no matter how sweaty he is from demolishing the innards of a house, her watercolors, and the little jokes they share between them.

It’s so obvious that she carries the feminine energy and he carries the masculine energy. It’s written in their faces, his beard, her size, elfin hair and laugh – and it’s written into the script.

However – if you’ve ever seen the show – Erin leads. All the time.

She starts the conversations, she designs the homes, she says what she sees and imagines, she feels sure of herself and doesn’t pretend to ever be “helpless” (you watch her tear cabinets down and rip up floors).

She takes full responsibility for the result of the house – and simply allows Ben to make it happen.

She asks Ben directly, as Joanna asks Chip directly, to do what she wants (make a table, take down that wall,…). There is NO pussy-footing around.

And yet – it’s all feminine energy because it’s all clearly appreciation of the masculine help, talent, view, and commitment of their men.

This kind of “energetic” signature is not something “standard.”

It’s a “vibe.”

You FEEL it. And then, you can look at that behavior you felt drawn to, and see that it came from feminine energy as a “pull” – instead of as a hard-trying “push.”

When you can be in your feminine energy ALL the time – it’s SO much easier and feels so much more natural to be in your feminine energy with a man.

In her books, CDs, DVDs and seminars, relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own, now-glorious three-decades-long marriage around. If you’re not familiar with Rori’s work, you can download her freebies at CoachRori.com->

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