As my writing evolved, my story about sex and heart became an e-book. My coaching practice evolved from there.
Sex and Heart started out as a chronicle of my journey and what I did to heal myself. It’s a step by step guide in learning how to heal yourself as a woman and expand your sexuality as way to opening your heart even wider. How to bring him closer through much of this will occur as a natural and organic progression from your work.
Men tend to take our lead in this. They will heal and grow as we do. Not that they can’t alone, but when they can do this through our hearts, it tends to be more profound.
Q&A about Sex and Heart:
If a woman comes to you feeling “less than” and unattractive, and feels that her sex life with her man is fading…how do you start working with her?
First and foremost she needs to work on herself. Raising her feelings of self-worth. There are many little things or tricks she can call upon, but the most important thing is to fill her life with activities and/or work which fulfills her and makes her feel good. Surrounding herself with people she feels good with is also important.
I would also ask her to start exploring her body on her own to discover what feels best to her and also maybe, probably discover some new things she didn’t realize were there, new ways of arousal, opening up pathways to new sensations, expanding on the ones she has, learning different ways to orgasm. The ability to orgasm easily and without inhibition is one of the best ways for a woman to feel good about herself. She will glow. Her sensuality will ooze from her, and the joy that orgasm brings will release a radiance from within.
This kind of self- assurance, sexual and otherwise, is attractive to almost anyone, especially men.
Can a relationship be turned around?
Yes this is possible. Highly likely even. But it takes two. When a woman starts making these changes, some men may balk. They may not want to stir the pot, change the status quo. But there will be a great many other men who will as my man did, grow right along with you and be thrilled and delighted with the changes and not just the sexual ones.
Can a man who isn’t committed to you and seems almost disinterested suddenly get interested in you with your techniques?
Most definitely. Any woman who radiates self-love and an inner confidence along with her new found sensuality will be highly attractive to almost any man. Being open, authentically you, being vulnerable.
Sex and Heart Point by Point –
My work is about learning how to be in your body, learning to how to sink so deeply into whatever feelings arise whether they feel good or they feel bad. When you resist them or stuff them which is another form of resistance, the feelings can‘t move. They’ll keep butting up against the wall you’ve built. Release the resistance, and they can now move and flow through you, flow right on out of you and become something else, maybe a better feeling feeling.
I’m about learning how to open into your sexuality, for this can act as a conduit to opening your heart, to yourself, to life, and to your man. One is an excellent gauge for the other. An open heart makes for an open vagina which is more able to receive and circulate energy. An open and relaxed vagina frees the heart to receive and exude love. You feel at peace, able to deal with and embrace with whatever comes your way.
Healing Self – This always first and foremost– via various meditations for example, learning how to go deeply into and sinking into all feelings, the good feeling ones as well as the bad feeling ones. I teach a woman how to recognize her feelings, feel them completely so that she can then process them and let them go.
As she works up to becoming more comfortable with her feelings whatever they are and whenever they arise and not fear them, I teach her how to communicate these feelings to a significant other say, in ways she can be heard.
Being In the Body – Learning how to get out of your head and into your body to be a feeling creature and not so much a thinking one, a soft and receptive being, not a resistant and unyielding one.
Engaging Him – If she has a problem, something that is bothering her, I show her how to speak so no one feels attacked, so that the other person is engaged, solicited even. I often ask her to ask him for his help with her problem, especially if it involves him. Men so love to help. Instead of feeling like the bad guy, the bad little boy his mother caught do something naughty, he will feel like an ally.
Feeling Safe Within Yourself – The more a woman feels safe within herself, the safer her man will feel. This comes through her healing and learning how to truly love herself.
Creating Safety For Him – Through open and honest communication in the ways I outlined. Through her vulnerability, idiosyncrasies, foibles and all. Through being authentic.
Openness – Being Authentically You – Radical Honesty/learning to speak the truth in ways he can hear and getting to a place where you can tell him anything. This opens the door for him to feel safe sharing himself with you, words, body, heart, spirit.
Men tend to take our lead in this. As we heal, a good man will heal and grow right along with us.
How To Open Up Your Sensuality/Sexuality – I teach women how to be more comfortable with sex in their bodies, learn how she works, what she likes, what makes her feel good, better, how to heal the blocks which women erect as protection against the hurts and traumas she has endured and not just the sexual ones.
Women hold it all in their pelvis.
Many women are greatly numbed out down there, but this too can be healed.
The more she opens up the areas of tightness, numbness, and places which hurt, the greater her capacity to feel sexual energy which is directly connected and related to the openness of her heart.
I teach women how to expand their orgasms, how to have different orgasms, clitoral being the most obvious and common one but also g-spot or vaginal orgasm, cervical ones, and I can also teach women how to ejaculate or squirt.
I taught myself how to do all of these things, and if I can, anyone can.
I have a man who was always into me, but there was a guardedness, a protectiveness of his being, his freedom, his heart.
He’s now in completely, body, mind, heart, and spirit. He would rather be home with me –
The safer your man feels with you, the more time he will want to spend with you. My man was never one to really go out, but the more we opened things up between us, dispelled secrets, had honest, open, real communication where I could tell him anything, when our connection became incredibly profound, the more delighted he has become to come home and be with me.
The look on his face every night says it all, the close to heart embrace, the joy. He likes nothing better than to hang out with me even if we’re doing nothing at all, me on my computer, he on his. Or cuddling on the couch watching Netflix. Or having mind blowing sex.
He’s the one who loves spooning each and every night. He’s the one who loves to snuggle each and every morning.
And sex is off the charts. It was always good, but the more I healed and opened my heart, the more I relaxed my being which included my entire sexual structure, the more amazing sex became. The more I enjoy, the more he enjoys. What better for a man to see his woman coming over and over again, ecstasy all over her face, and that he created this in her….
These are the elements that make for trust and intimacy in a relationship and will open you to attracting the man/relationship you want