How Much Work Should Your Relationship Take?

Ever since I published my Pyramid of Love, I’ve read your questions, comments and emails. You’re always as honest with me as I am with you.

by Evan Marc Katz

You’ve told me how much men have disappointed you.

You’ve told me you’re wary of taking a chance and opening your heart again.

You’ve told me you’re looking for a shortcut to immediately let you know if a guy is a player, slacker, jerk, or alcoholic.

With such men…

You will constantly cry.

You will constantly fight.

You will constantly be disappointed.

You will constantly question yourself.

You will constantly agonize about where things are going.

You will constantly obsess how you can love someone so much and be so unhappy.

All those relationship issues force me to ask you a tough question.

If your boyfriend doesn’t consistently make you feel safe and happy, why are you in the relationship at all?

That may knock you sideways a bit. In fact, it may be difficult to admit to yourself:

You’ve hung onto the wrong men for your entire adult life.

In fact, that tenacity is a quality you took pride in – being able to push through, hold on tight and try to work things out with your partner.

Yet no relationship you’ve ever worked hard at has EVER lasted. Has it?

All relationships take some effort, but when that effort starts to feel like actual work, your relationship is not serving its purpose.

When I look at my happy marriage and the happy marriages of my clients, those relationships all have one overriding quality: They’re EASY.

If that sounds hard to believe, that’s because you’ve never chosen an easy relationship before.

For you, love has always meant arguments, ups and downs and insecurity.

Or maybe you’re used to placid relationships where you never fought, but you were bored, uninspired, unattracted, and constantly second guessing why you were there.

Understand, your struggles don’t say anything about love itself.

They only something about the men you’ve chosen.

So please, consider this simple and priceless pearl of wisdom.

A good relationship is easy. If it’s not easy, it’s not that good.

Your entire life, you’ve tried to fit a square peg in a round hole.

For years, you’ve fallen for men and tried to justify why they were a long-term fit, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

You cried and fought, and broke up and made-up, and vented to your friends and family, all because you thought that this was NORMAL.

All because “relationships take work.”

Sorry, but they don’t take that much work.

datingEvan Marc Katz is a dating coach who specializes in helping smart, strong, successful women understand and connect with men. He has over 24 million blog readers, over 150,000 newsletter subscribers, and thousands of satisfied clients who find his take on relationships to be enlightening, entertaining and empowering. It wasn’t until Katz took his own wisdom that he met his future wife – and became a much better dating coach in the process. By opening up to a new kind of partner, Katz proved that to get different results in love, you have to make different choices. “I had to make fifteen years of dating mistakes before I finally figured out how to have a happy relationship. I believe firmly that the road to success is paved with failure, and since I’d failed so prolifically and ultimately found my own way, I feel uniquely qualified to help others have success in love.” Check out his book “Why He Disappeared” <=== Here!

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