By Lubov Skurina
“I want to find the love of my life and I want a man who can provide the lifestyle that I desire to have. What’s wrong with that? Can’t I kill two birds with one stone?”
As I work with clients who are looking for their ideal relationship, this question shows up over and over again. It takes different forms. Here is another variation: “I am looking for a soulmate, but he has to be a US citizen because I need a green card.”
So, is it possible to find someone who you have a deep connection with and who satisfies your material demands at the same time? Yes, it’s possible. The problem arises when you consciously set it for yourself as a goal.
Finding your soulmate, a partner who you have a deep intimate connection with, someone who will love you for who you are and support you in your joys and your sorrows is a very different goal from the goal of achieving financial well-being.
There is nothing wrong with the desire to be financially secure or have your dream lifestyle. By all means, you should set it as a separate intention and work on it. But you cannot mix the two together because they are energetically very different.
In Order to Attract Love –
You need to live in a space of giving and receiving love unconditionally.
If money (or a green card) is on the back of your mind when you approach your potential soulmate, it will show.
If he doesn’t satisfy your financial requirements
Then it will show as a wall between you and him: “I love you dearly, but I have other goals in my life that you can’t meet.” And you walk away from love. Will you ever get a second chance? Probably not, because love is not what you truly desire at that point.
If he does have what you want from a material perspective
Then your hidden agenda will show as an unspoken truth that both of you will always be aware of: “I have something she wants, that’s why she is with me.” This truth immediately takes the “unconditional” out of love and the depth out of your relationship. Your relationship becomes… (how should I put it?)… shallow.
Is There a Case When Material Side Becomes a Factor in a Love Relationship?
Yes there is. This happens when one of the partners becomes a financial burden to the other and refuses to take a step to help the situation. I am not talking about a housewife who is taking care of 3 children. I am talking about a boyfriend who you support financially and who is taking advantage of you. This situation is quite extreme and certainly is unhealthy.
Remember, soulmate love presumes emotional and financial independence of both partners.
So, what do you really want: love or money? You can and should have both, but they are obtained through different sources. Make sure you don’t confuse them with one another.
From Sarah: Lubov Skurina is a transformative relationship coach; founder of My Time to Be Loved, creator of Soulmate Attraction System. She specializes in helping single women around the globe attract their ideal life partner by transforming their core beliefs and reclaiming their authentic ability to give and receive love. You can read all the wonderful things her clients say about her and how she’s helped them when you follow this link – OH – and be SURE to pick up Lubov’s free ebook “4 Steps to Soulmate Attraction” – it’s a complete step-by-step guide to attracting your ideal life partner – and that’s her specialty. Just go here to get your free book and discover love–>>