relationshipBy Jonathon Aslay

As a Relationship Confidante, women come to me frequently with this same perplexing question: What does it all mean when the man in my life is distancing himself from me?

As a Guy Spy into the Male Mind let me help clarify this male phenomenon.

Women as we know tend to be extremely relational and nurturing. Rarely do they pull away from chick chats and friendships, so it is understandably difficult for women to comprehend why someone would do such a thing!

There are standard reasons that a man would distance himself in a relationship, so to help comfort you, please understand that most of the reasons have nothing to do with you! Financial concerns are probably at the top of the list.

1. Money and Distancing

There is no way you could know whether his bills are paid or his account is overdrawn unless he opened up to you about such details, but believe me if money is an issue for him, he may spend more time than you can imagine worrying about it.

2. His Career and Distancing

If he’s got his boss breathing down his neck, that will create a lot of anxiety for him and cause him to isolate.

If he’s been read the riot act at work he may still be licking his wounds, so give him the time and space to do so!

3. Health and Family and Distancing

Other issues that may spring up for him could have to do with his health or his family. Depending on how long you have known him will determine how much he will divulge to you about such things that weigh heavy on his heart.

The Worst Thing You Can Do When You Sense He’s Distancing Himself From You…

… is to nag him and keep asking him “what’s the matter” or “what are you thinking about” or “why don’t you talk to me.”

What he really needs is time, space and understanding!

Don’t use this situation to start drilling him with questions, text messages, phone calls or complaints.

He needs you to be strong for him and with him.

If he senses strength and confidence from you he will not only open up to you more easily, but that confidence is extremely attractive!

He needs a partner that will walk through the relationship storm with him in quietness and strength, not a whining cling-on that drains him.

So the next time you find yourself in this position in a relationship, don’t focus on what is not happening with your man but focus on what you can do to make life smooth!

Take care of you!

Pamper yourself, make time with other friends and let him have the space he needs to rally.

In doing this you would have enhanced your own life as well as the relationship – and given him an opportunity to see how amazing you really are!

Your Guy Spy, Jonathon



  1. Melissa on January 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Wow! I just read this blog and good thing I did! I was just getting ready to text my guy and ask him how come he doesn’t answer my texts? (That’s the insecure girl in me) I feel as though he is distancing himself from me, yet at other times (when I come across strong and independent) he seems more attentive to me. I get the whole “Clingy” thing where it’s a turn off, because I’ve seen his behavior change toward me when i was clingy. The question is, how do you know if he’s distancing himself due to your reasons you suggested or if it’s because he’s no longer interested in you?

  2. Debra on April 14, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Unfortunately, I read this too late. We were planning a wedding. The last phone call was about licenses and permits for the ceremony. 20 days later stone cold silence, no response to phone calls, texts or emails. I sent a final good bye email…to which I got no response. I’m confused, but it’s done and I will deal with whatever the consequences are. Guys should come with a manual.

  3. jeanet on November 5, 2015 at 8:00 am

    I also just read this blog….and its helped me so much coz I was abt to say “its over”. He loosed internship and all of a sudden he doesn’t take my calls anymore.atleast now I know what I have to do and am happy girl now coz I was worried by his behaviour, I even thought he moved on or have another girl friend….yoooh am relived now thank you

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