Here’s How To Make Sure He Doesn’t Pull Away

Tired of finally letting your guard down only to have your man pull away?

by Amy North

How can you stop him from putting up walls?

Men pull away for a number of reasons: they feel pressured, they’re testing the waters, or they’re simply unsure how else to relate to women.

But not anymore.

I’ve created 8 simple phrases that will make any man think of you differently.

These phrases, if used correctly, will prevent him from pulling away.

1. “Let’s take things slow”

Many men have one foot out the door early on in a relationship. They’re trying to avoid getting into a serious relationship before they’re ready. And they also want to avoid getting too attached. That’s one of the reasons relationships fall into this push-pull cycle.

One way to keep things on an even keel is to tell him that you actually want to take things slow. This doesn’t necessarily mean waiting to have sex or only seeing him once a month.

It basically means that you want to get to know him before you rush into anything.

This is something that men love to hear. They’re used to women who are always pushing to get serious right away.

If you offer to take things slow, it’ll be a refreshing change of pace for most men.

Just remember that you’ll need to put your money where your mouth is.

Don’t say this one if you’re planning on texting him ten times a day and seeing him every night.

2. “You know you can tell me anything”

Part of a relationship is being one another’s confidante. This can only happen if you two can establish trust. Let him know that you’re not going to judge him based on what he tells you.

He needs to know that you care about him so much that there’s nothing he could say that would change that. If you can make him feel that way then he’s going to want to be around you more and more. That’s how you prevent him from pulling away.

3. “No problem”

Often men will pull away to pick a fight and then that gives them the excuse to distance themselves even more. This is all happening on a subconscious level and it’s part of a man’s desire to keep women at a distance.

You can prevent this from happening simply by not taking the bait.

Even early on in the relationship you need to allow him his own space. Getting clingy is just going to scare him off.

“No problem” tells him that you’re easygoing and that you’re not looking to start a fight. Use this if he has to cancel plans or if he’s busy. If you can show him that you’ve got your own life and that he’s free to live his, you’ll prevent him from pulling away.

4. “I think you’re great the way you are”

This is something that often goes unsaid in relationships and I think that’s a shame. We all suffer from insecurity and the feeling that we’re not good enough.

Let him know that he’s perfect just the way he is and that you wouldn’t change a thing.

While he may blow off this compliment, deep down it will really warm his heart.

5. Just tell him what you’re thinking

Unfortunately this is one I can’t write for you because it depends on what’s actually going on inside your head. When I say you need to tell him what you’re thinking I don’t mean to keep him informed of your every thought.

What I mean is you need to let him know how things are going from your perspective. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that early on in a relationship it’s easy to read silence as something negative.

That’s why when you’re enjoying how things are going I want you to share that with him. And even if things aren’t working quite right, it’s important to have those conversations too. If you’re upset about something and keeping it inside, men can tell.

It’s better to just put it out there so you can talk about it rather than stewing if you want to prevent him from pulling away.

Men love to face problems head on so it’s better to get it out in the open and move past it. Sometimes conflict is unavoidable and you need to show him that you’re capable of handling it together.

6. “I never doubted you”

Men want to know that they have your trust. Without trust a relationship will be torn apart by doubt and second-guessing.

If you’re looking to get closer to this guy, first make sure he’s someone you really can trust and then let him know.

When he knows for certain that you don’t doubt him then he’ll not only feel closer to you, he’ll feel strong and confident. If you can make him feel that way then he’s all yours.

7. “I’m busy”

Along with taking things slow, making time for your own life is so important early on.

Many women think that they need to make themselves as available as possible or they’ll miss out on chances to spend more time with him. The truth is the exact opposite.

If you make it more difficult for him to see you then he’s going to want to work to earn that time together.

So don’t break plans with friends simply to spend time with him. Keeping him at an arm’s length early on will make him work extra hard to get closer to you. And if he’s reaching out then he won’t be pulling away.

8. “What’s your favorite…”

This works for almost anything. Favorite movie, favorite sports team, favorite bar.

The truth is men like to talk as much as women. It’s just that men are more comfortable expressing opinions than they are talking about feelings.

Not only will this help keep his interest and prevent him from pulling away, it’s also a good chance for him to show off the depth of his knowledge and for you to get to know him better. Win-win.

Amy North is a women’s relationship coach and best-selling author from Vancouver, Canada, with a degree in Social Psychology. Her programs, including Text Chemistry and The Devotion System have helped dozens of women attract and keep the right guy, or improve the relationship they already have. “As your relationship coach I can be your guru, supporter, challenger, and motivator. I’ll give you the push to get going, and the tools to keep you on track. Your interests will be my interests, and I won’t judge, but I will help.”

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