by Christian Carter
Here’s the strangest thing about men…
Just because you’ve been happily dating a man for several weeks, months or even years… it doesn’t automatically mean he’s thinking or feeling “commitment,” or seeking a deeper lasting expression of his LOVE with you.
That’s right. And if you’re like most women, then by experience you already know this to be true. And it scares you. You can spend time with a man, get close, become intimate and bond… and he can still NOT WANT to create or nurture a relationship with you. Even if your relationship is one that makes you both happy when you’re together.
What’s up with that? So why are so many men “unavailable”?
I’ll give you the short answer here… It’s because men have a different RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE for wanting to get “serious” with a woman… and a different REASONS for making the shift to where love and an exclusive committed relationship is the thing they really want.
That might sound “selfish” and like a man needs to get over his “issues”…but it’s also just how men are when it comes to real lasting relationships.
Does that mean that it’s “all about him” and that if you want to share a real relationship, you have to put aside what you want… or else wait for him to get his act together? Absolutely not.
The first thing you should know is… a man’s “Commitment Tempo” (when he’ll want to take things to the next level with you) has NOTHING to do with how long you’ve been together. The amount of TIME you’ve been together is irrelevant to a man’s feelings…and whether or not he feels “ready” to commit.
Unfortunately most women don’t know this, and instead they try to convince or reason with a man that it’s THE RIGHT TIME to take the next step and grow the relationship. By doing this, they accidentally create MORE RESISTANCE inside the man… which can end up in disagreements, power struggles, and lots of bad “drama.” All of which ends the same way – the man WITHDRAWING even further, if not leaving altogether.
Don’t shoot yourself in the foot this way. The end result of all that drama is that the man starts feeling that the relationship is more of an unnecessary “hardship” than an OPPORTUNITY for more love and happiness. You don’t want that.
If you’ve ever been with a man and shared something amazing for several months and grown closer and closer, but then he RESISTED and WITHDREW once you actually talked about how things were moving forward between you… then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Here’s a secret when it comes to “unavailable” men and moving your relationship forward in a way that will INSPIRE the man you’re with to be a better partner and lover- Don’t try and TALK your way into a better relationship with him.
A man doesn’t commit to a woman in a conversation, or even with his words. It’s something he just FEELS inside and wants for himself.
Your Friend, Christian
From Sarah: You’ll want to get Christian’s free eletters – they’re all amazing, like this one, and once he’s sent them out, you won’t see them again (except here – and I’m working my way through my favorites for you) – just go here to learn more about how Christian knows so much about women (oh, and he SO does…) and to get his free advice->