by Christian Carter
Have you ever heard a man say something like, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship?” Or, how about this one, “I want my freedom?” If you’ve been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you’ve heard this before. Men say statements like these all the time.
Do you know what a man REALLY means when he says these things? Do you know what to do that can instantly change a man’s predictable behavior of withdrawal or resistance?
If not, then it’s time you stop listening to what a man will only say to you about himself and his feelings, and start paying attention to what’s going on inside his heart and mind. The first thing to learn is that what a man will say might be misleading to women.
In the past, when I’d hear my friends, other men, and even myself say, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship,” I knew that there was something more to it than a just a man who didn’t want a relationship with a woman. In fact, I found that most of the men who said this quickly ended up in a serious relationship with other women soon after.
Does He Really Want To Be In a Serious Relationship?
A man will tell a woman he’s dating that he isn’t ready for all that comes with a real, committed relationship. But, as soon as he’s single again, he’ll start meeting new women and go on dates.
Once he finds a woman he likes and is very attracted to, he’ll spend most of his time with this ONE woman. He even takes it to the next level and stops dating other women he might have met. He does all of this even though he had JUST ended a relationship with ANOTHER woman he felt strongly for because he supposedly didn’t want a “serious relationship.”
Why does he start a serious relationship even though he says he doesn’t want one?
There is an obvious contradiction. But, even though this type of behavior doesn’t always make sense to women, it makes perfect sense to men. Does this situation with men ever frustrate you or leave you feeling like men have no clue what they’re doing?
What Does He Think a Serious Relationship IS?
Here’s the problem: what a man says and means with his words manifests as different actions than what a woman would expect or interpret. Let me explain.
If a WOMAN says, “I’m going to stay home and relax today,” she probably means that she’s going to stay home, make sure that her house and life is in order, catch up on chores and bills, and then maybe watch a few TV shows. If a MAN says that he’s going to stay home and relax, he’s probably going to watch some sports, drink beer, look at pictures of women on the internet, and order take out food.
Men are DIFFERENT from women, and the words they use often don’t mean what they sound like they mean. It can be misleading for women. So, the first thing to understand is that just because a man says something to you, it doesn’t always mean what you think it means. Catch my meaning? To be in a serious relationship with a man, it’s important to understand his meaning.
From Sarah: This is a great piece by Christian Carter explaining the differences between men and women, and how women can better understand men through their words. For more insight on men from Christian, check out his website, and stay posted for his next piece, which offers advice on the secret of what men are really looking for in a woman and a serious relationship->