“Dear LoveRomanceRelationship, We’re both in the military and leaving about the same time in April. Thing is I’ve recently caught him lying to me. He texts these girls he meets on the internet, telling them he’s single and exchanging pictures. He also had multiple dating and sexual partner finding profiles to websites like getiton.com and plentyoffish.com.
I confronted him before about an ad he posted on craigslist that seemed suspicious, but he claimed he was looking for a threesome for us. I believed him, but when I confronted him about his most recent activity, he lied. He still says he’s not even though I told him I know he is. I honestly don’t think he’s cheated on me….yet. How can I fix this before we spend our lives together?
This is Sarah. I’m an editor and not a relationship expert, and I’ve been working in this field now for so long I know what the experts would say to you: A man who lies will always lie.
A man’s behavior may be changeable, and it’s something you might be able to affect. But lying is different.
Cheating isn’t the worst part of cheating – the sex or disloyalty of it – it’s the LYING that’s the problem.
If you can’t trust a man to tell you the truth, so that you’re able to make decisions for yourself about what you want to do in a relationship and what’s best for you – based on the truth – then you have nothing.
The profiles, etc are just so obvious, he can’t talk those away.
Perhaps he’s just not ready for marriage yet, and if you continue to date him, without expecting exclusivity, you’ll either meet another man who’s more “true-blue” or this one will grow up.
If you’re looking for relationship help if you’re continually attracted to and getting involved with men who seem to need “variety” more than they need to be with you and only you – happily and devotedly – you might want to try Rori Raye’s “Have The Relationship You Want” ebook and free newsletters, and you also might want to take a look at the long distance relationship book we recommend (it’s different – it’s a fun, adorable workbook that’s great for getting closer in ANY relationship). In the military – you might be faced with long distance situations, and also – this little book is a FANTASTIC way for you to get closer emotonally to this man…he might like it (and I know the NEXT man will be better and WANT to get emotionally close and devoted to you).
Sincerely, Sarah for LoveRomanceRelationship