Ever had that feeling of loneliness where you feel like no one understands you? A person, the man you love, a friend can be standing right beside you – yet it doesn’t fill that “gap”?
You may be surrounded by many people, yet their company “drowns” you deeper into loneliness?
We all feel this way some of the time because we’re all unique and different. You see: There’s no one in the entire universe that will have the same personality, ideas, way of life and needs that you do. NONE! Not even twins!
How can anyone fulfill all your needs, or even “get” you when we’re all such complete individuals?
There us a quote from the bible (here’s one version of the quote) that says: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” An interpretation could invite you to then ask yourself – “Before I try to remove the speck from anyone else’s eye, I must first remove the bigger plank from my OWN eye. And then I can see clearly before I attempt to remove his speck – or even talk about what anyone else “should” do.
How Does This Apply To Loneliness?
By understanding that other people are not necessarily going to fulfill our needs, we somehow learn to expect less from others. And then that lack of expectation reduces the feeling of loneliness. It eases the pain – because we stop expecting more from others!
We know it sounds odd – but being disappointed in others is part of the feeling of loneliness. It’s as though we don’t like being with ourselves, and so we expect and hope others will come along and save us from being with ourselves.
The more we learn to accept others in a more unconditional way, and stop judging them for the way they fulfill our needs – the more we begin to depend on ourselves. And the more we begin to depend on ourselves, the more we discover how GREAT we are! We discover how much we have in the way of strengths and good qualities. We begin to discover how much fun we can be, how clever we are – and how GOOD we are at fulfilling our needs.
If we can stop judging and measuring up others – then we can see how deeply and awfully we’ve been judging ourselves.
And the moment we see that, we can begin to stop judging ourselves.
We Can Start Applying Compassion – Not Just To Other People, But To US – To Cure Our Loneliness
And once we replace the judgment, anger, shame, guilt and frustration with ourselves with compassion – we cure our loneliness.
And the magic that happens then is – people are intensely attracted to us, and men start falling from the sky!
By starting with giving others “slack” – even when we don’t feel like it – and working with ourselves to enjoy ourselves more – it’s like we turn EVERYTHINg around.
Are you choosing to be around “negative ” people?
When we’re in a negative state of mind, it’s easy for us to want to hang around “negative” people – who complain about things, who have a view of the way things are going, the way they’ll turn out, and nearly anything that shows up.
These are people who easily “put down” other people, things and situations – often with “humor” so that it’s harder to see how negative they are.
Remember that we are the sum of the five people we spend most of our time with. Studies have shown that our mental and emotional state is MOST affected by our 5 closest friends. It’s shocking – but it’s not our families that rule this – but our friends. The people we CHOOSE to be with!
If you are mixing with a crowd that is negative and makes you feel down all the time, it’s no surprise you’re feeling lonely. It’s no surprise that yu’re drawn to people who make you feel bad – because that’s what you’re used to!
As children, if we’re raised with negative or abusive parents – we yearn to get away and be with positive people who make us feel good. But often, the habit of being teated in a certain way sticks with us, and we keep finding ourselves with men and friends who have and give us that bad and disturbing feeling.
Try paying attention to the feeling you have around your friends, and the men you choose to be with – or even WANT to be with.
If it makes you feel lonely to be with them – or in the moments when you’re NOT with a man – that’s a great clue for you, take stock and get away from that “crowd.”
Start focusing your attention on being with people who feel uplifting and positive to you, who, instead of complaining, or seeing things in a negative light, talk about solutions, and fun things, and have only good things to say about other people.
Loneliness isn’t about being with other people or being alone. It’s a state of mind that you can turn around – by shifting the places you go and the people you spend time with, and by being pro-active and getting out there to meet NEW friends and NEW men.
It’s a learning and transforming process, but you can make it happen quickly, if you pay attention to how you feel and get out there and make the changes you can make.
When You Start Showering Yourself With Love And Compassion – Even When You Feel Lonely – You’ll Become The Most Attractive Woman Around
…and you’ll suddenly find yourself showered with love, attention, and men and friends who want only to be around you.
One of the quickest ways to start turning things around is to stop thinking about what a man is thinking about YOU (and whether or not he’s attracted, how he feels..all that) is to switch your focus to being curious about HIM! That means wondering “…where was he raised, what’s his mother like, what’s he interested in…?” Instead of thinking and asking the normal questions every other woman asks (and often without really caring or being interested in the answers)– really ask yourself what you’d like to know about a stranger.
If you find yourself judging his clothes, or trying to “qualify” him as a potential date or relationship…see if you can find something to be interested in finding out about him. One of the best ways to do this is with our “Attract The Hell Out Of Him – Crack The Secret Code of His Personality” book.
It’s amazing what happens when you not only focus on what might be interesting about a man, but when you have the SKILLS to “get” him on a deeper level – and instantly – than any other woman can. Take a look at how “Personality” can work for you right now.
A man falls in love very quickly. It happens the moment he experiences that incredible feeling of being “got” and understood on a basic level by you. When he feels totally accepted by you. And this isn’t something you can “fake.” You truly have to “get” him and accept him – ALL of him.