by Kathryn Weber
What are all the new visitors to my Red Lotus Letter website looking for mostly? Romance, pure and simple. After that it s money. It s interesting that romance is the top spot. It shows how important love and romance are to people even more important than money.
Loving relationships are also working relationships.
That means you ve got to make an effort. You made an effort to get into your relationship, so why stop because you got married or moved in together? Remember, that love isn t just a feeling, it s an action. So, take some steps toward building on what you ve got. Below are some of the most frequent questions I receive about romance. It also includes some new ideas and suggestions for married or committed couples.
QUESTION: Our bedroom d cor is OK. Should we really redo our bedroom?
When it comes to food, we eat with our eyes first. Attractive food, with its good blend of colors and textures is appealing, and why that little sprig of parsley does so much. Well, we also make love with our eyes first. It s why many couples feel like they have to go away to be romantically inspired. Their environment simply isn t appealing. I think that s sad. Because if the only time you are getting romantically interested is when you can arrange a trip out of town, then that is way too much time spent apart.
Environment plays a crucial role in romance. I mean, really, how romantic is a bedroom with a treadmill, the dog s bed, and mismatched curtains? Every couple s bedroom is important and deserves attention. Make it attractive to both you and your honey.
Have you ever noticed how good spring cleaning makes you feel or how good you feel when you rearrange the furniture? Well, that s because you are moving energy around that may have been stagnant. A stagnant relationship can also be a sign of a stagnant bedroom. You can actually reinvigorate your relationship just by redecorating or arranging your bedroom.
QUESTION: Our kids have really nice bedrooms, but we haven t spent the time or money on ours because it seems like the whole family is always in our room. Is there something we can do about this?
Yes. Use your living or family room. You don t have a bedroom because where you sleep is the family room. I love my kids. Don t get me wrong. But kids are only renters. Remember, you aren t there because they are. They are there because YOU are.
This is Rule No. 1: You and your spouse come first. That means your bedroom should also be a KFZ (Kid-free Zone) or haven away from the kids. That means no toys, no pictures of kids, and certainly no kids in your room (unless you ve invited them). This is your space.
We often mistakenly believe that you have to let your kids into every nook and cranny of your life and be totally absorbed in them to be good parents. I disagree. We aren t in the kids rooms. Why should they be in ours? You must draw limits.
I ll put it even more plainly: kids kill romance. If you don t want romance, then keep the building blocks, stuffed animals, the How-to-use-the-toilet book with the flushing sounds in your bedroom. If you do want romance, make your space yours and your sweetie s ALONE. Now, go and get out the decorating books!
QUESTION: What can I do if I suspect my spouse is unhappy with our relationship?
You need to bolster your relationship any way you can. Here are some thoughts: Add a vase to make relationships happier. Place a jar or vase in the bedroom. It should be ceramic and beautiful to you. Vases can help smooth relationships by collecting good energy.
Display the double happiness sign. This sign can be purchased at Chinese or import stores as a wall hanging or as a frame. If it s not possible to find a double happiness symbol, find some items that are red and gold and put those in your bedroom.
Hang a crystal in a window. Rainbows of light cast by the sun hitting a crystal can cleanse a room of negative energy. These are nice to have in rooms throughout the house. To see the beautiful colors dancing on the wall is to infuse the house with positive energy. Hang crystals from a 9 inch long red string or ribbon.
Use crystal power under the bed. Place a smooth, round crystal ball at the foot of the bed to make relationships smoother. You can place one of these under the foot of every bed in the house to make all the relationships happier.
QUESTION: I m worried that my husband is looking for love outside our relationship. Is there something I can do about?
Yes. I ve got a couple of ideas. Plus, the last one is good for everyone to help make their marriages stronger and last longer.
Place a conch shell in your bedroom. This shell will help protect you from third-party interference when you are separated.
Check water in the front of the house. Make sure there is no water to the right as you walk out the house. This can lead to an abundance of admirers or predatory females.
Repaint if necessary. Peach-colored walls or carpet can lead to infidelity and to unwanted or overly-aggressive admirers. If you ve got an excess of peach color in the house, I d head to my DIY center and buy some paint.
Purchase a geode. If you suspect your spouse is wandering or if you just want to make your marriage last, purchase an amethyst geode. These minerals are excellent for infusing energy into a stale relationship. Be sure to select a roundish one that sparkles and that you think is beautiful. On the next rainy day, set the geode out in the rain to be washed. Afterwards, tie the geode with red ribbon and place under the bed. Occasionally, take the geode out from under the bed and set it in the rain to be cleansed.
QUESTION: My wife and I are always arguing about money. Is there something we can do in our bedroom to help our money situation?
Add amethyst power. Pour rice into a beautiful bowl and add amethyst crystals. Place this bowl under the bed. The crystals can be purchased at nature stores in many malls or at gem shows or stores.
QUESTION: Does it really matter which side of the bed we sleep on?
Yes. The woman should sleep on the right side (as you lie in bed), and the man should sleep on the left. You should also try to orient the bed or sleep with your head pointing in your marriage and family direction based on your kua number. You should also sleep using the breadwinner’s personal best directions. Click here for information on personal feng shui.
QUESTION: Do you have any ideas for Valentine s Day that would be good feng shui?
You bet I do! You can purchase crystals for your bedroom, some of which I have talked about above. You can also purchase a rose quartz crystal to display in your bedroom next to a picture of you and your love. Here are more ideas:
Buy in pairs. Give your love a pair of something, whether that is earrings, a pair of monogrammed bathrobes, or a pair of lovebird figurines for your room. If you want to be practical, purchase a pair of lamps for either side of your bed.
Go pink. Pink roses are more sentimental and sweet than red roses. In fact, some think red roses can actually cause a relationship to end. If your love doesn t like pink, select yellow or lavender roses. Also, be certain that the thorns are removed from the stems.
Buy love items. The stores are stocked with heart-shaped items and love tokens for the upcoming Valentine s Day. If you want some items to make a love shrine, purchase them now while they are readily available.
Get dim. Purchase a dimmer switch for your bedroom. For $5 you can have all kinds of mood lighting!
Frame your love. Buy a beautiful picture frame and put a picture of the two of you in it. Maybe even select a picture and have it enlarged as an extra nice touch.
Take the time to work on the feng shui of your relationship. It just might reignite your passion!
From the Editors: Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Feng Shui E-zine – and it’s just got GREAT, FREE information and advice – her site has more articles, too, and a totally Free E-book “Easy Money – 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui.” Just click here to visit Kathryn at: the websiteand get your free book and E-zine – we’ve used her stuff at our homes, and it’s really interesting and easy to learn and do – it’s a fast and fun way to use feng shui to make your life more prosperous and abundant.