There are so many different family dynamics in marriage – and often, the unique ones you’re dealing with can be causing a lot of tension and stress.
To get to the heart of all the negative issues that plague your marriage, you may need a little more help. Finding a professional who can walk you through it might be a very good idea.
It’s a rare individual who can look at themselves and see all of their flaws. It takes and even more unique individual to actually admit to those flaws even if they have noticed them. When you put two flawed people together with these traits into a marriage, well, yeah – the sparks will fly!
The first step you have to do if you want a clear picture of the family dynamics in your marriage is to take a step back and try to see your marriage as clearly and with as unbiased of an eye as possible.
It might be hard for you to do but it will be easy for your friends, family or a therapist to do – and often even just a book that explains things in a deep and clear way can give you the “aha” moment you need to actually SEE what’s going on in your own marriage.
What Outsiders Bring to Your Marriage
They aren’t emotionally invested and they aren’t worried about being the one who is “wrong”. They can see things far more clearly than you will be able to see them. Of course, family and friends will be reluctant to tell you the truth because they won’t want to hurt you or lose your friendship by making you mad. So, it’s probably best to find a good counselor, therapist, relationship expert or coach – they have nothing to lose by telling you the truth as they see it, so you know they’ll be honest.
Finding the unhealthy dynamics in your marriage is just step one – the next step will be to get all parties involved on the same page.
Trying to get more than one person who’s willing to face their own flaws and actively make changes is challenging, to say the least.
Most people simply aren’t strong enough to be willing to face their flaws, let alone actually make strides to change them by even first just ACCEPTING them. Trying to get two or more to do it feels close to impossible.
Still, it’s worth a shot!
The depth of the issues and the depth of the love are two very important factors that will help determine how likely you are to succeed in each making some needed changes. If one partner just doesn’t care that much, or is just too selfish and immature, and won’t try, it will be pretty close to impossible to make any real changes and make the dynamics of the family any better.
Your Marriage Can Always Improve
Whatever the dynamics of your family are, you should always try to make improvements if you aren’t happy with the way things are. No one knows whether it will fail or succeed but if you aren’t happy right now, you really don’t have anything to lose, do you?
Family dynamics in marriage has many sides and can be quite convoluted. For that reason finding a professional who has experience in these issues will go a long way to helping your family find the peace and stability you all really want.
If you’re feeling super frustrated with the way your husband isn’t taking your hints about anything, being there for you emotionally or opening up to you about things that seem to be bugging him, and a therapist or counselor seems hard to manage right now – you’ll want to take a look at our amazing Good Husband Guide. It’s from relationship expert Jeffrey Mark Levine, and, believe me, it can turn your marriage around.