by Allana Pratt
Things have been rough for me to get along with my son’s father. I have maintained this defensive stance for years.
At one point my strategy was to get so small that he wouldn’t bother me, stop threatening me, stop thwarting my plans… I got so small and clogged up my light so badly that my cash flow stopped, my radiant light was barely a flicker and I ‘thought’ this would make me feel safe, yet disconnected from Source, I felt more terrified than ever before and attacked more attack from him, family members and beyond.
Not the solution.
Then I got really big, worked my ass off to get out of debt, kicked ass on media, speaking, with products, creating massive breakthroughs with clients, courageously faced him and brought in the mediator and called him on his out of integrity.
I was still ‘pushing’ and ‘trying’ to feel safe, being bigger than my oppressor, being fierce mother bear, angry and claiming my life back, and yet he simply got bigger too, I drained my energy, spent lots of money on the mediator, shields up everywhere, swords ready to strike, defiant… clearly not at peace or resting in the harmony that’s my birthright.
Not the solution.
What was in the way?
What was I resisting?
What was my real truth?
What did my little girl inside really need?
Hand on heart, letting my breath breathe me, I listened….
I want to feel safe to be fully and completely expressed. I want to feel seen and valued and celebrated. I want to shine in full color even if the world around is black and white. I want to love myself to much that it doesn’t matter if the world never changes from black and white, I must be free and feel the safety from within, release all resistance to what others do or say, and be 100% authentic shining me.
I had been resisting my (created) oppressors, I had been resisting my truth, I had been resisting GIFTING myself with freedom, I had put up the block to full self expression, I had focused on the fear not giving myself permission to be alive and free and open.
I heard my truth. I want 100% custody of my son. The truth is that while I’m grateful to my son’s father for showing me how I’d created a prison since childhood to survive and defend and look for the next attack… I’m ready to let it all go and step into my happy family life as a harmonious, peaceful, flourishing delicious sensual woman. He’s showing me that I can choose to resist him or be open to love and allow in my birthright of being valued, safe, adored, cherished… of having a fully thriving family… the works.
I give my situation to God. I stop the mediation, I stop the fighting and resisting, I stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, I release waiting to be attacked, I stop thinking from the limited viewpoint of prison I’d created. Then you know what happened?
What I REALLY REALLY WANT IS PEACE, HARMONY AND COOPERATION. I allow myself to have peace, harmony and cooperation reveal themselves AS MY LIFE.
Then you know what happened?
I realized I already AM peace, harmony and cooperation and if I BE that then I feel wonderful! And he’ll either play along or move on! 50/50 or 100%, doesn’t matter!
This is what it means to give it to God… choose what I want… which is really to remember who I am, then BE who I am and allow others to play along or move on… I need DO NOTHING! Control NOTHING! Fix NOTHING! I CAN totally let go and be amazed at how the mystery will unfold!
I am a deeply sensual woman, inhaling and savoring the energy from Mother Earth who is my alley and assists me at every turn with sustenance, abundance and security.
I am a deeply sensual woman, devouring and tasting life, in a delicious dance with the Divine as I walk, do yoga, meditate and also as I play with my son, go to the grocery store or sweep my porch… I keep my body open, my jaw soft, my eyes half inside listening to my feelings and half outside aware of the world, my vagina is soft as well, open to being filled, allowing of sensations of life force having it’s way with me, and my crown is open, the door has swung WIDE open in knowledge that the Universe is safe, on my side, thrilled to give me the Kingdom and so I open wide welcoming guidance, direction, and unconditional love.
I am a deeply sensual woman, open to all, knowing as I breathe and listen and move through resistance, that life treasures me and brings to me to my Truth that sets me free and I can courageously let it all go, in wonder and awe at how LIFE chooses to unfold. I can trust it is all in alignment with my Divine Purpose for the highest good of all.
I feel the feeling of a happy, safe, harmonious, joyous, peaceful, delicious family life and a sacred sensual profound relationship feeling exponentially valued beyond my dreams with my Beloved… and I allow it to be.
And so it is, Amen.
SISTERS~ Where will you release the resistance today and tell the Truth?
Notice when Truth is revealed, your body will soften, and the flow will begin, and the magic will grace your feet.
Be honest. Be tender. Be YOU.
Deliciously yours, Allana
Allana is amazing. she’s the only single mom, dating, motherhood and love coach we know who actually shares her own life with you and teaches you how to get the life and love you want. The program she created for us – “Single Mom Manifesto” is filled with practical, spiritual, emotional – and did I say practical? ways to date men in the most effective way and to get and keep the lifelong love you want (or even the “for now” love you want). Go here to check out Single Mom Manifesto, watch Allana’s video, and see how she can help you go from the single women “label” to super powerful and sexy->