relationshipRori Raye can help you bring your man back into your relationship, help you draw in a new man of so much higher quality than any you’ve been stuck with before, and she does it all without telling you to use games, strategies, or any tricks at all.

Rori believes that we, as women, can have the most amazing success in love just by being OURSELVES, and everything she teaches is about exactly how to get rid of old patterns and issues that aren’t really about who we ARE, so that we can be even MORE ourselves.

Here’s Rori answering a letter from a reader about dealing with Heartache and Pain from a bad relationship:

Rori says – If you’re feeling totally frustrated by a man who “says” he “loves you,” and that he “wants to be with you,” but just can’t seem to follow through and move the relationship forward, I know how hard it is to know what to do. When a man puts out “mixed signals” it’s difficult to “get” what’s really going on – especially if we’re all bound to him with our hormones and our hearts.

If you’ve ever found yourself in an “impossible” situation with a man, where you just KNOW that the relationship would be fantastic if there wasn’t something or someone ELSE constantly making it hard and painful for you, you are absolutely NOT ALONE, and here’s some help:

First up, here’s a letter from Cheryl, who’s stopping her love life cold by hanging onto a man who’s pretty much humiliating her publicly.

Cheryl’s Relationship:

‘Dear Rori, My name is Cheryl. I’ve been in a relationship with the same man for seven years. We’ve been separated for four years and I am still deeply in love with him. When I do see him it is like the first time I saw him all over again. I am not really sure what happened to us. We used to be so close. Like “thicker than thieves.”

We were in a car accident he had several broken bones and the memory of it all and I had a couple of broken bones and a head injury and I lost my vision for a couple of years and no memory of it at all. I felt that we had gotten even closer through all of this some how until I started to get my vision back enough to go back to work. Then all of a sudden he changed.

His step sister from a couple of marriages back moved to town and started hanging around but only when I was at work. I had only met her one or two times briefly before all of this and now when I would come home in the morning she was leaving my house. He would swear nothing was going on but couldn’t say why she was here, and after that it seemed that I could do nothing right. Even the way I was standing was wrong.

So one day I got home and we had a disagreement and I said that “it has gotten to where I don’t even want to come home anymore” and the next thing I know he moved out and that was four years ago.

We still see each other and he says he loves me but we have had no romantic involvement at all and he and his “step sister” live together. Every time I ask him to talk to me or at least tell me it’s completely over, that there is no chance of an us any more he gets upset and tells me that he loves me and nothing is going to change that and then he leaves and I don’t hear from him for a couple of days.

What really kills me is that my kids miss him just a much as I do. I do know that he had a past history in drugs and sometimes I wonder if he is back into it. All I do these days is wonder because he won’t talk to me anymore. I do know that I am not the only one at fault here but I don’t know how we can get back what we had. Is there any advice you can give me? Cheryl”

Rori’s Assessment of Cheryl’s Relationship:

***It’s easy to read Cheryl’s letter and think that she’s not even seeing the reality of her situation. But, sometimes, when you’re in the middle of it all, you really can’t see. And that’s why you need someone else to help you see it.

I’m happy to be that tough-love friend for Cheryl and perhaps, in her story, as extreme as it is, you can see some similarities to a situation you may be in yourself, right now.

First, let’s use Cheryl’s very difficult situation as an extreme version of an Imaginary Relationship:

Cheryl – this is what’s really going on: This man and you have been apart for 4 years. He is living with another woman. He does not demonstrate in any way that he cares for you. (Saying “he “loves” you is meaningless under these circumstances, and just shows how you must be a wonderful woman and OF COURSE he doesn’t want you out of his life.)

He likes you exactly where you are – pining for him and making him feel like a big man, while he continues what seems to be a REAL RELATIONSHIP – with the woman he lives with.

I know that sharing a trauma like the car accident can be a deep and profound bond, and that, earlier, your relationship was strong. I also hear that the moment you became independent, he was gone. Perhaps he had some guilt about the accident, and taking care of you was part of his healing. Being dependent on him for so long would make any woman feel deeply bound to the man she depended on. I know this is difficult, and still, you must break these bonds.

You must stop seeing him altogether. End contact, and begin a new phase of your life. There are many men in the world – you must make yourself available to them.

And in the process of discovering these new men and how they actually want to be with you – without obstacles like another woman in the way – you will discover yourself. Once you start finding the deep wells of strength you TRULY do have, you will also find the love you want.

Please be open to the new men (some will be “dates,” some will be behind the cash register or the deli section at the market), who will help you along the way. They’ll love you, give to you, and make you feel safe enough to love yourself in their presence.

Good luck, and please let me know how you’re doing in you life and your next relationship.”

From Sarah: Read more from Rori Raye to get a new perspective on yourself and your relationship.

1 Comment

  1. Belinda on May 29, 2011 at 3:38 am

    Dear Sarah, I hope that you can hear me out as I have no friends and family to share. I have been in this relationship for only six months and came to realize I have been cheated not only money but also my heart. Now my heart hurts Alot. It hurts more then I could realize. Tears keep flowing out whenever I think of it and the most silly part is we never meet up or have any physical touch.

    This way back 6 mths ago. I have a real bad argument with my mum. I got real hurt an post on my facebook this – loves hurts. And this guy, Andy just send me email and we make friends from there. We keep in touch throug email and Facebook. Later few weeks we are in love.

    He claims to be in army under gunny section. And now in afghanstan. Recently he wanted to meet me and want to come to my country. But he need to fork out some funds before he could come out. And of course we went through lots of argument cos I not rich myself. but I still lend him the funds by borrowing. He promises that the army would give back every cents I loan him. He claims to fly and meet me tomorrow. But suddenly he told me he is in uk handling some will thing. He send me email from his attorney as “prove” that he would be given millions after he pay tax to the uk government. He ask from me loan again but my today’s email refuse to give anymore. And shout that he is a fraud.

    I end this relationship cos I have none to give and he if is a real man should solve his own problem. I know that I shouldn’t have cry but I couldn’t believe that I am so stupid and that I still cry over him. A man that I never have or meet. How do I go through such ordeal. Never have such feeling before for my first ex-bf. This I consider my second and maybe my last. Is it because I am good gal who is not vain enough and would never get good man….

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