Everybody says they’re good in bed. I’ve never met any man who has said to me, “You know David, I am REALLY bad in bed!” Everybody thinks they are a fantastic lover.
Let’s talk about this (because you KNOW I have an opinion!)
I’ve been with some really terrible lovers. I’ve been with some women who were so bad in bed, that I wouldn’t even recommend them to a virgin client of mine.
The truth is, though, that what makes someone bad or good in bed is VERY subjective. For instance, one woman I slept with a long time ago I thought was extremely boring in bed. My friend didn’t think so. He, in fact, ended up marrying her.
We all have different desires and different ways we like to have sex. I’ve been with some women with whom I just don’t feel like I’m the best I can be. (Don’t worry, you don’t have to endure me breaking out into song singing the Army song “Be All That You Can Be”)
Here’s the bottom line: It really comes down to chemistry. If you don’t have chemistry with somebody, you will not be a good lover with them. You might just be mediocre.
There are times when I am so good in bed that I want to give myself an Oscar. I am sure you’ve all had those moments when you just know you have brought your “A” game to the sheets that night.
Then there are other times and circumstances when you were just not your most dynamic, acrobatic, Cirque du Soleil self . . . and that’s okay.
Being Good in Bed Is Really Subjective
Now I think all of us can improve and become better lovers. In fact, I encourage everyone to always try to learn more about how to be a better lover. There’s always another position to learn. There’s always another way you can learn to kiss. There’s always a new way you can learn to use your fingers and tongue. There are CERTAINLY lots more orgasms you could be producing.
In fact, if you ask women what THEY want in bed – what turns them on the most, and what inspires them to want to turn guys on in unbelievable and amazing ways — you wouldn’t BELIEVE some of what they have to say (and after coaching women for more than eleven years, I have heard EVERYTHING from women about what really turns them on the most).
So, how can you figure out what kind of lover YOU are, so you can find a woman with whom you will experience the most INCREDIBLE sex? We’re all really different lovers. In order to find out what type of lover will be great for you, you need to figure out the type of lover you are.
Ask yourself these questions:
What do you enjoy?
What do you like when you’re in bed with a woman?
What is a must for you to have in a relationship?
What do you do if you’re dating a woman who is phenomenal in bed but doesn’t like when you go down on her, and that’s your favorite thing to do?
What if you like to have sex in the morning and she doesn’t?
What if about the kinkiest thing the woman you’re with will do is masturbate in front of you, while you are extremely kinky and like to have sex in your car while stuck in traffic on the 405?
I’m Sure All of Us Are Pretty Good in Bed with the Right Person
Now that we’re already talking about this, though, let’s dig even deeper.
I’ve written before about when it is the “right” time to have sex. For some of you, as long as the other person is breathing it is the right time to have sex. Other people like to wait until they get to know someone for a month before they will have sex.
As for me personally, I have sex when it feels right. That could mean having sex on the first date, having sex on the tenth date, or it could mean having sex in the first five minutes.
The bottom line is this: Define yourself as a lover, and then be honest with the person you’re with about what kind of lover you are. That way, you’ll pick your lovers a lot better in the future. You’ll also be able to create the most amazing sex with women that you’ve ever had.
From The Editors: David Wygant is the real deal – he’s SO helpful because he coaches men and women- and so he knows how they both think, how they work, how they operate – and what they want. He can help you shift your “mindset” and open up your understanding of yourself and others so you can totally transform your sex life and find out what it’s really like to be good in bed->