What is self-esteem anyway? Is it being full of yourself? Is it being aggressive and going after what you want? It can be those things (and what’s wrong being full of yourself, anyway – look at where it got Madonna!), and it can also be about more basic ways of believing in yourself.
Self-Esteem is thinking so highly of yourself that you don’t let anyone, no matter how attractive, put you down or use you. It’s about having boundaries about what you will or won’t tolerate.
Okay – So how do you get self-esteem if you don’t have it already? If the idea of the gorgeous man across the room looking you in the eye, walking up to you, starting a conversation with you and asking you out sends you into a panic and sets your knees buckling — if the actual approach of Mr. Gorgeous makes you instantly doubt yourself, what do you do?
Can You Create Instant Self-Esteem?
Well, you may not be able to instantly believe in yourself, trust yourself, and treat yourself brilliantly – but you sure can act as if you do!
Get Self-Esteem on the Inside
We’re all taught not to brag about ourselves, not even to ourselves.
Well, change that!
Look at yourself in the mirror.
Find something you like about yourself, as if you were a totally different person – not you – in the mirror.
Maybe it’s the way your eyebrow curves at the end. Or the way your hair hangs across your forehead. Or the way your shoulders look strong.
Say – out loud – Hey, you’ve got a great eyebrow. Or Hey, you’ve got great shoulders.
If it feels good (and we hope it does), hang onto that feeling.
Now, whenever you find yourself feeling insecure in a new situation, go to that good feeling about your eyebrow, or your shoulder.
Even if it takes the edge off just for a few moments – that’s long enough to smile and say Hi back to the man who’s just spotted you and is about to pull his own courage together to approach you.
Keep looking for moments when you feel proud of yourself. Praise yourself for every step out of your comfort zone you take.
Even if it’s just smiling and making eye contact with someone you’ve never met, pat yourself on the back.
Cheerlead for yourself.
Hey, you’re in training for LOVE! You’re getting ready to make romantic contact!
You can DO this! Feel that Self-Esteem build…
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