Confidence is easy to talk about. The books say – Just be confident when you talk to the guy who approaches you. Well, what does confidence look like? What does it feel like?
Not like what you think.
Men tend to think that confidence means coming on smooth, like a player.
Women believe confidence is about having self-esteem and feeling beautiful.
But confidence is a vibe. It’s something people pick up on.
If you try to paste some kind of “confident” behavior onto yourself – your vibe is the same as it was – only now you’re “pretending” something on top.
And that really sends your vibe down the tubes.
Even worse, if what you’re doing or not doing isn’t working, then you lose even more of that inner feeling of confidence, your vibe goes further south, and then you go home feeling even more awful.
You can stop that spiral down.
Confidence Looks like Being Comfortable with Yourself
Yep. However you’re feeling – even if it’s tired, beat up from work, still hurting from the last heartbreak – if you can feel okay with those feelings, and with whatever happens next in the conversation, your vibe will soar.
People will get, right off, that you have backbone. They’ll get, right off, that you LIKE who YOU are. And guess what – it doesn’t take years and years of therapy to get to that place. You can fake it til you make it in simple ways.
Gaining Confidence – Steps:
First, learn what your body looks like when it’s relaxed.
Even if your heart’s pounding so hard the man sitting next to you can hear it, or your hand that’s holding your snack plate is shaking so much that Mr. Gorgeous standing in front of you can see the food jumping around the plate – you can be comfortable.
Breathe, relax your knees, relax your shoulders, and tell yourself it’s okay to be wherever you are.
If you practice this enough, all the time, when the date you want shows up, you’ll be radiating confidence.
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