datingby Orna and Matthew Walters

We find it interesting how much effort and energy is often put into “where to meet men” when we’re single and dating. I have found with my clients. as well as from my own personal experience:

Its not about WHERE you are, but more about WHO you are being.

Dating is important for one reason that most people overlook – PRACTICE!

In order to change the patterns that you’ve been living over and over again in relationship its imperative for us to practice that new way of being in the world.

When I was internet-dating I had set one clear intention – to discover things about myself.

If I met someone I was interested in, then that would be icing on the cake. My clear goal was to pay attention to who I was being. How was I different when I was meeting with someone I was attracted to, versus someone with whom I had no spark? How did the presence or lack of that spark shift my internal dialog?

Often times with our clients the desire to find “the one” by internet-dating comes up again and again, and we respond “Its just practice!” (This is true whether the dates come from the internet, or in “regular” life.)

Take that in.

If it is truly just practice, then how would dating this way change your relationship with you?

Ultimately you cannot say or do the “wrong” thing with the Right Person.

When we desire love, we look for it outside of ourselves, yet it must be INSIDE us in order for it to be mirrored back to us.

Years ago, I married myself. I went down to Venice Beach and bought a plain solid silver band, went out to the beach and promised to Love, Honor and Cherish ME! It was incredibly fulfilling and nurturing. Each time I looked at that band, or felt it on my finger, it was a constant reminder of that promise to myself.

Nurturing yourself during the search for love is NOT optional.

If you are truly in a place where you really don’t get out to meet new people, that’s okay. Practice with the people in your life; friends, family, and co-workers. Start to pay attention to what you would like to shift and then practice. Do you judge? Do you get angry? Do you run through what may happen later in the day while you take your morning shower – only to realize that the dialog you’re having is not the one you want, but the one you fear?

The real KEY to shifting on the inside is to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself about yourself. Notice the negative dialog and change it to positive comments that you believe. Pay attention to your inner dialog the way a marathon runner pays attention to their pace.

Discover what you would like to be saying to yourself and say that instead.

From Sarah: You’re going to want to check out Orna and Matthew’s program (they created an ebook plus audio for us – we’re the only place you can get it, and it’ll blow you away!)  – “Get Your Mr. Right – Right Now!” You’ll learn so much just from this page, and the program is one of the best things we’ve ever read and heard…you’ll get SO much more from dating after you work with Get Your Mr. Right->

1 Comment

  1. Carl on June 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    You might be onto something when you talk about goals for online dating and that learning about yourself was paramount. In that regard, you were bound to learn new things about yourself and if meeting someone special occurred, it was a bonus. Great perspective!

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